Lions ate suspected poacher


Originally published at:



"They ate his body, nearly all of it, and just left his head and some remains."

Lions - 1

Poacher - 0


Divine… no, wait… Feline justice?


Poacher: It’s What’s For Dinner™


So THAT’S what happened to Val Kilmer…




“Well, Tom, here we are in the final quarter, the poachers have taken quite a toll on the lions and- WOW! Excellent take-down by the lions, scoring a deadly hit!”

“Yep, that’s gotta hurt, Bob.”

“What a come back from the former champion, taking out the current apex predator!”


“It’s a funny old world. A man’s lucky if he gets out of it alive.”

W. C. Fields




If only.


I certainly hope that the lions hung the head and the assorted remains prominently in their study. Otherwise, it’s an awful waste.


Poachers aren’t just for breakfast anymore.


“You can say that again, Bob.”

“Dammit Tom, for the five hundred and sixty fourth time, my name is not Bob!”


Don’t cheer too loudly.

Odds are they’ll attempt to track and kill the offending lion. He could equally have killed a ranger.

Can you keep it down? I have company.


Wow, you can hear me way over there?


I know. It’s more like:

Lions - 1
Poachers - 3,670


For those who want to see why untamed lions and Melanie Griffith’s family are a poor mix, check out the trainwreck of a film, “Roar”

" They thought they were making Grizzly Adams, but they came within an ace of making Grizzly Man.

You’ll marvel, slack-jawed, at the irresponsible, idiotic bravery of Marshall and his family as they tempt, taunt, and double-dog dare Fate again and again, for an hour and a half of screen time that translates into five fucking years on the shooting set. You’ll queasily examine every wound depicted, trying to spot the difference between the fake ones and the real ones. You’ll listen even more queasily to the soundtrack every time Melanie Griffith disappears beneath a pile of lions, pricking up your ears to discern whether this is the fabled scene in which the boom mike caught the sound of her face and scalp ripping as she was mauled"


Sometimes, payback’s a bitch.
Sometimes, it’s a group of lionesses

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