I think there was a Tucker Max story about how he ate a Jalapeno and then performed oral sex. I can’t find it now, though. (Probably for the best)
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And yes, entertainment media still propagates tgatvwater helps. Instead of milk, which also helps.
I once tried one of Don Rosa‘s pepper. Bored while waiting in line. I fully expected a severe reaction, but boy. Thankfully a bar was nearby, so I had both access to a toilet and a milkshake. The latter worked even better than plain milk, as far as I could tell.
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That’s basically it. It’s just a fake alarm on some pain/heat receptors and under prolonged exposure, the body reacts accordingly. Like smokers not coughing anymore (well, until well later) or coffee drinkers needing higher doses after some time.
As it’s unrelated to the taste, you basically get the same experience from a milder dish as someone trained on that stuff from a truly hot one.
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The worst part is that you build up a tolerance for it, so people just keep eating more and more to get that same burn. It’s also why I find it ridiculous when people boast that they like to eat really hot food. Good for you, I like to enjoy the taste of my food thank you very much.
I say this knowing full well that I eat a lot of chile. No, the irony is not lost on me.
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Some time between the beginning of the space age and the Bay of Pigs my father asked my adopted grandfather for some chilies, and he happily gave him some. Dad brought them home, washed them and put them on the table, then turned away to get something else.
When he turned back, I was standing on a chair, stuffing my face with them. He moved the rest out of reach, but since I didn’t seem to be in any distress, no problem. He tried one and yeah, they were chilies, but nothing like he was expecting.
The next time he was out at the farm, he complained to Papa Lopez that they were so mild I had been eating them. Papa Lopez says, OK, you can have some of the chilies I grow for the pepper-bellies in town. But here’s how to kill the burn; have some milk and bread handy. If the burn gets to be too much, dip some bread in the milk and dab it to the spots in pain.
My father was very, very, glad he listened to that advice. And extra careful that I didn’t get any of them.
I’ve also found that liberal amounts of tzatziki sauce not only tastes good with some hot foods, but it kills enough of the burn to make eating it not a test of your whatever-hood. OK, maybe not quite as much of a test.
And, yes, there is more than just heat (and pain) there. Dave’s Insanity Sauce (to name a common good one from 20 years ago) imparted a very good flavor to wings and other foods, but, straight on food, was one step further than I was interested in. But, added to another, not quite so incendiary, sauce, it adds a wonderful flavor. At least to what is left of my tastebuds.
(In northern Virginia, go the “Buffalo Wings Factory” and order some ‘Torrid Zone’ wings for an example. If you like the flavor and the heat isn’t too much, you also try some of their ‘911’ wings, which are made with more or less straight Dave’s sauce. If you are still unsatisfied you can try a sample (or a whole order of ten) of their ‘Flatliners’, but you’ll have to sign a waiver first. The waiver was added about 15 years ago after a friend passed out while eating some. Word is that the Flatliner sauce is basically refined, food grade capsaicin.)
And then there’s the story Jon Singer tells of his first opportunity to sample Ghost Pepper… but that’s not mine to tell.
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Don Rosa? As in the creator of Captain Kentucky and lesser works like “The Life and Times of Scrooge McDuck”? Cool!
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Yes. He grows them himself and has a bowl with them whenever he signs. (The chances to get a sketch are quite bad).
So taking one seems to be an obvious memento and while I do collect some physical stuff, I wouldn’t store a pepper. So down the hatch it went. How bad could it be, after all.
(I usually can stomach hotter seasoning than the average Northern European, but of course not nearly to the degree of people who grew up with capsicin based cuisine or who make a sport outbid it.)
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Wait, THATs what that song is about? It all makes sense now.
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Also, do not, I repeat DO NOT, touch your genitals in any way. You will really have a bad time.
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When I was a student, one of my housemates said he’d make “that Thai red curry stuff you make, if you tell me how.” So I explained using red curry paste from the tin, coconut milk etc. I’d been taught by a Thai friend to use about a quarter of the tin for a pretty spicy result.
I got off the train to walk the 500 metres home and thought, “ooh, something smells nice and garlicky!” At the end of our street my eyes starting watering. The house felt like it had been CS-gassed. He”d used the whole tin, and then a second just to make sure it was spicy enough.
We ate it anyway - we couldn’t afford not to - and as beautifully painful as it was to eat, the Johnny Cash effect the next day was a powerful lesson.
*edited for missing words
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FIRE IN THE HOLE!
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I’ll 2nd that. Spicy Dick Milk is a classic!
I like hot food. I might find these chips to try them out but wow fellow white Americans are really not able to take a bit of heat? I say this as someone who loves to drown my eggs in El Yucateca hot sauce. I’m not saying I wouldn’t have a reaction but honestly I probably would enjoy the chip despite the pain. 
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Honey works too. The honey absorbs the capsaicin and it coats your mouth. Yogurt works better than milk. It has more of the casein protiens, which can dissolve the capsaicin and has the benefit of coating your mouth, allowing more contact between the capsaicin and casein. If you are eating spicy indian food, order a lassi to go along with it.
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This is why we have plastic gloves in the kitchen. Solely for chili handling.
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A guy at work gave me a ziploc pillow of carolina reapers, ripe, tiny, fresh and crisp from his garden. I touched my tongue to the knife after slicing one, and then I ate two cups of yoghurt, drank a pint of milk, and ate three slices of bread very quickly. We ended up only eating about two of those peppers before the rest of them got too old an moldy, because one of them was more than enough for any dish.
There’s no way the bottle in my fridge is 20 years old. Although it is something you only use a drop of (it’s awesome for making tasty chili in extremely large quantities - use half a teaspoon per gallon and it’ll be too hot for some folks).
Do you think I’ve never been on the Internet before?
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have you tried drinking a candle?
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cc @Mister44
Funny I have reflux pretty bad too. What effects me worst of all is acidic foods (tomato based sauces, coffee are both horrible)…spicy doesn’t though.
I like spicy food within reason. I don’t get why people do these sorts of things to themselves either.
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