Making Mario Batali's sexual misconduct cinnamon rolls


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Pizza dough… for cinnamon rolls…


Because I’ve rolled them too tightly, the middle pops up and out of one of the rolls.

One of the cinnamon rolls has a fucking erection.

Missed opportunity for a joke about victim-blamers here, but otherwise if you want some out-loud laughs this is a great article.


Yeah, that confused me, too. Pardon me for stating the obvious but pizza dough is intended to be very glutenous, chewy, stretchy, so that you can form thin rounds, and savoury. I like them cracker-thin and crisp. You want sweetroll dough to be soft, tender, shortened, and y’know, sweet. It’s completely baffling.

edit: Put garlic powder and paprika in pizza dough. You’re welcome.


Maybe ol Mario should have called them his ‘no f!cks to give ‘apology’ cinnamon rolls’
I will say I read his statement and felt he may learn a better path, then came the f’ing recipe.
You have got to be kidding me.

And we tried this with some extra dough one time: awful combo. (note not his recipe, we just had some extra pizza dough and experimented)

Time to make some sourdough pizza dough!


Dominos is selling cinnamon rolls from pizza dough over here. Tried it once when I got a coupon for a free sample.

… and that’s exactly what I thought after taking the first bite.


As a connoisseur of well-crafted snark, and an occasional practitioner, my hat is off to Ms. DeRuiter. Her post is a work of art.


ever had Numero Uno deep dish pizza? the sweetness mixes very well


Because it was a half-assed thing Batali threw together to distract from the allegations.
Ms. DeRuiter’s essay, on the other hand, is a delightful, if necessarily heavy, meal.


When I read the initial story of his letter and came to “pizza dough cinnamon rolls,” my instinctual response was, “My god, he is a monster.”
I mean, there is a traditional sweet bread made with something like a pizza dough, except it’s not worked as much, has a syrup put over it that changes the texture, and it’s not trying to be a cinnamon roll.


^^^ that’s the problem right there ^^^


Dominos is pretty good for chain pizza, however i really dont bother with any of their sides


He should have put in the best goddamn recipe he could find. And then he would have the joy of seeing how little it assuaged those he has wronged.


It’s kind of like ending an apology with “fuck you.” No, not “like,” it’s exactly that.


Ground dried porcini.


When I heard about the accusations, only knowing Batali by his genial, bright persona, I thought “wha! No way! Not Mario Batali!” and when I started reading his “I accept all responsibility” apology, I was momentarily struck by his frankness and willingness to take the blame. Good on you, Mario.

One paragraph later, he’s offering a fucking recipe for cinnamon pizza rolls, and any whiff of sympathy vanished. Fuck that guy.


Not just that, but the anecdotes peppered throughout hit pretty hard. Even though I have heard all this and more from close women friends already.



Ugh. Bastards.

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