Making Mario Batali's sexual misconduct cinnamon rolls


#1

Originally published at: https://boingboing.net/2018/01/12/making-mario-batalis-sexual.html


#2

Pizza dough… for cinnamon rolls…


#3

Because I’ve rolled them too tightly, the middle pops up and out of one of the rolls.

One of the cinnamon rolls has a fucking erection.

Missed opportunity for a joke about victim-blamers here, but otherwise if you want some out-loud laughs this is a great article.


#4

Yeah, that confused me, too. Pardon me for stating the obvious but pizza dough is intended to be very glutenous, chewy, stretchy, so that you can form thin rounds, and savoury. I like them cracker-thin and crisp. You want sweetroll dough to be soft, tender, shortened, and y’know, sweet. It’s completely baffling.

edit: Put garlic powder and paprika in pizza dough. You’re welcome.


#5

Maybe ol Mario should have called them his 'no f!cks to give ‘apology’ cinnamon rolls’
I will say I read his statement and felt he may learn a better path, then came the f’ing recipe.
You have got to be kidding me.

And we tried this with some extra dough one time: awful combo. (note not his recipe, we just had some extra pizza dough and experimented)

Time to make some sourdough pizza dough!


#6

Dominos is selling cinnamon rolls from pizza dough over here. Tried it once when I got a coupon for a free sample.

… and that’s exactly what I thought after taking the first bite.


#7

As a connoisseur of well-crafted snark, and an occasional practitioner, my hat is off to Ms. DeRuiter. Her post is a work of art.


#8

ever had Numero Uno deep dish pizza? the sweetness mixes very well


#9

Because it was a half-assed thing Batali threw together to distract from the allegations.
Ms. DeRuiter’s essay, on the other hand, is a delightful, if necessarily heavy, meal.


#10

When I read the initial story of his letter and came to “pizza dough cinnamon rolls,” my instinctual response was, "My god, he is a monster."
I mean, there is a traditional sweet bread made with something like a pizza dough, except it’s not worked as much, has a syrup put over it that changes the texture, and it’s not trying to be a cinnamon roll.


#11

^^^ that’s the problem right there ^^^


#12

Dominos is pretty good for chain pizza, however i really dont bother with any of their sides


#13

He should have put in the best goddamn recipe he could find. And then he would have the joy of seeing how little it assuaged those he has wronged.


#14

It’s kind of like ending an apology with “fuck you.” No, not “like,” it’s exactly that.


#15

Ground dried porcini.


#16

When I heard about the accusations, only knowing Batali by his genial, bright persona, I thought “wha! No way! Not Mario Batali!” and when I started reading his “I accept all responsibility” apology, I was momentarily struck by his frankness and willingness to take the blame. Good on you, Mario.

One paragraph later, he’s offering a fucking recipe for cinnamon pizza rolls, and any whiff of sympathy vanished. Fuck that guy.


#17

Not just that, but the anecdotes peppered throughout hit pretty hard. Even though I have heard all this and more from close women friends already.


#18


#19

Ugh. Bastards.


#20

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