So many comments and not a single reference to Snow Crash. Was the van emptied by a girl on high-tech skateboard? Will the mob get involved?
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Continuous innovation in bad customer service.
Needs either a “delightful corporations” tag, or maybe “Washington gentleman”.
This can be interesting. The “logistics” company obviously knows the vehicle’s there and they probably figured it’s cheaper to park it on customer property than sit it at a parking lot or repair shop when they have other vans around. Amazon doesn’t know or care who’s actually delivering the stuff (the van’s generic white).
The guy, if he chooses, should consult the local ordinances about “abandoned vehicles on private property”. If he’s outside of city limits, the local sheriff’s department will be handling the case. And the LEO can order the vehicle towed and stored, and eventually auctioned off if it’s not claimed.
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Some useful context here:
The important thing is that Amazon feels this guy’s and the Internet’s rage, and that the local delivery company who committed the bad behavior is not unduly harmed, because frankly, they are victims of Amazon too.
This guy’s strategy of making this a PR issue for Amazon is much better than involving a towing company, which will just dump the costs onto the local company, not Amazon.
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Jeffy’s PROFIT???. NNNNOOOOOOOO!!!.
File the paperwork for a salvage title, get it fixed up as a mobile command center / camper and spend the rest of the pandemic on the road camping.
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This^^ Here in the U.K., most Amazon drivers are driving rental vans, which have no company livery decals on them, but there’s almost certainly paperwork inside with the rental companies details, and most likely a decal in the window, usually the rear window, unless the doors are solid.
Anyway, there should be something in there to identify the actual ownership of the van, who can then be contacted.
No doubt the driver’s just gone and rented another van, expecting the hinky one to be picked up.
The better part of that is the state doesn’t maintain them. At some point we are going to have to deal with resurfacing…you know which the HOA has no real idea how to budget for. Also the state doesn’t plow them if it snows.
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You say standoff, I say FREE VAN!
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Yeah, even being nice, though, there need to be limits. “Hi Amazon, your van is illegally blocking my driveway, please arrange for someone to pick it up or tow it away by x o’clock, otherwise I’m calling the cops.” I think that should have been his first move. Although at this point, he moved a vehicle that wasn’t legally his, and IDK how much of a jerk Amazon would/could be about that.
If the current idiocy continues, it may be beneficial to trick it out like a Mad Max vehicle.
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How about
https://sellercentral.amazon.com/gp/help/external/help.html?itemID=M9THX2S47XTGJTQ&language=en-US
Amazon Freight LTL shipping service
To use the service, choose Amazon Partnered Carrier when creating your shipment. Amazon or a partner will be assigned to pick up your shipment.
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Depending on what you’re buying and where you live that may no longer be an option. For a lot of things I no longer have a real “local” option, it’s all either big box stores or Amazon. This leaves me with my choice of ruthless billionaires to choose from, I suppose. I’ve been pissed off at Walmart for a lot longer than Amazon, although it’s kind of like picking between two kaiju as they stomp your city flat.
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I had a Mini Cooper like that. 
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Around here it’s called adverse possession. It takes a bit of time but you can get a clean title and sell it. I have a buddy who used to make a few extra bucks claiming titles and selling abandoned cars in alleys.
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It’s very likely not Amazon’s car at all, so they can’t do shit. It’s some sub - perhaps even subsub - contractor’s, who does deliveries for them.
As much their’s as the post services vehicles.
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Clearly he just needs to move it off the property and let Amazon and the local jurisdiction deal with it.
Where I live, something like this parked on the road would be taken over by a homeless bum within days who would then claim he was “homesteading” it and six lawyers, three churches and two city council members would leap to defend his “right” to live there permanently (and maybe to use your home’s bathroom facilities, things are getting silly here so that may be next).
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Send them a bill for the parking space.
To repeat some previously stated points:
- Police won’t do shit since it’s on private property
- Tow trucks don’t work for free
- California has convoluted laws regarding seizure of high-value assets “abandoned” on your property
- Moving the vehicle himself off his property puts him at potentially huge legal risk
- This is more of an inconvenience than anything, so he can take a principled stand
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Clearly he needed a lower bar on a chain or more visible signaling to keep trucks out of his driveway
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