Man with inflatable penis implant will lose virginity to sex worker

boing
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Not when you want to screw, no.

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Yes, perhaps we have sex therapist conflated with sex worker, and the lines do not have to be clear. This is sex we are talking about, after all, and there are few clear lines! Perhaps I am wrong (GASP!!! NO!!!) in using the label “hooker” above. Maybe she is not a hooker. Maybe she is something else, more along the lines of Helen Hunt’s character, the sex surrogate, in The Sessions. Which was a good movie, btw. Y’all should see it if you haven’t.

I used the term hooker and perhaps I am perpetuating a mischaracterization.

And Mr. Shaddack is getting a beating. I know he was just joking around. He has a droll sense of humor. He’s not a bad person, out to hate on women or anyone else. I can personally attest that women are crazy… but so are men!!! Y’all have not met my father and my uncle! They take the cake. When I read what he wrote, I took Shaddack’s comment more like what I just said rather than as a bodyslam on women.

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43

I’d say “Stynx”'s comment is pretty reasonable, but also, the guy is in his 40’s, he’s waited his whole life for this, I wouldn’t ask him to spend 6 months with dating sites and singles bars just so he could see how his thing works. Plus that would be kind of dishonest-- meeting a woman, dating, building a relationship, and maybe she’s thinking “is he the one?”, when in reality he just wants to try out his new penis.

I’d think he’d use a professional because it would be too awkward or embarrassing to just go out and play the field, but I guess now that he’s public about this he could just put an ad on a dating site: “40-year old virgin with brand new working penis, looking for woman to help me take a test drive.”

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Seconded. And if you look at what he wrote, it’s not terribly derogatory, and it could be applied to men as well. In fact, I kind of cringed when I read it because I imagined it being applied to men.

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It’s a useful generic to cover everything from dancers and strippers to people the police call prostitutes, who are more fixated on doing what the client wants than what he (or rarely she) needs - which is what therapists are supposed to do.
Almost every job ranges from the good to the bad, whether it’s civil engineering - from, say, a director of Ove Arup at one end to an indentured labourer in Dubai at the other, or restaurants - from the Maitre d’ of the George 5th to someone working the fryer in a redneck territory Macdonalds. With no real life experience I assume from analogy that sex work is probably much the same, and so “sex work” is a properly neutral and judgement-free term.

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A sex worker is a professional. Seriously. This person is likely better able to read non-verbal cues and know what to say and how to act so as to make this man feel as comfortable and supported as possible while doing something that he’s had a lifetime of fantasies AND fears about.

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You’re right. Please see my later clarification, above. I had to think about it for a day to realize that my judgmental term about hookers was probably incorrect in this case. And in general, sex workers do have a place and are people like everyone else. I disagree with sex work from a public health perspective, since that is my training. But from a moral perspective, I have no say.

edit: I see that you clicked like, so you saw my new perspective, thanks.

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Yeah, I saw your correction on the term “hooker”, but you said you wanted a serious answer to why he would use a professional instead of a girlfriend and I didn’t see my answer posted yet by anyone else.

I mean, think about it: there’s a lifetime of pressure and social prejudices to deal with, so you probably don’t want the person who initiates you into this new lifestyle to be someone you have to face on a daily basis afterward. Especially if they didn’t know how to help you get over your nervousness and inexperience and actually have fun at the time.

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Exactly. If I faced something like that, all the pressure of relationships and the normal stuff we all face should be set aside to deal with the central issue. I mean, it’s especially judgmental if we think this guy has gone 40 something years without romance. Of course he has had romance, but always with the major complication. So now, he’s taking care of it. He’s a brave soul. Lots of veterans have come back from the middle east with their parts blown off or mutilated. So this is not some rare thing. It’s common, and from a health perspective, this man’s journey adds to the body of knowledge about recovery and healing.

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50

I would object to restaurants if they had to operate without the benefit of health inspections, insurance, protection of workers, etc.

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One of the commonest cases taken by my father’s legal practice in central London was defending restaurants charged with violations of health and safety regulations. Things are better now than in the 1960s but he did once say that dirty restaurant kitchens put me through university.

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Meanwhile some men with regular penises lose their virginity to inflatable sex workers.

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53

Have you considered all the variables here?

If one of your romantic relationships with a woman goes bad, she might be the problem.

If ALL your romantic relationships with women go bad, YOU might be the problem.

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54

I don’t know if I would call the response to @shaddack a beat down… just being politely asked not to stereotype based on a relatively small sample size. I suppose it is possible @shaddack was referring to sex workers in general, of which there are male, female and transgendered varieties.

I think we should celebrate that people had a civilized difference of opinion on the internet, without any ad hominem attacks.

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Surely you know you closed on an absurdity. Shaddack was being ad hominem, and you excuse only him from your proposed rule for us all?

Different rules? That’s called bullying.

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Isn’t that effectively the #notallmen argument?

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So, I was talking to a stripper I know the other day. Wonderful woman, divorced, ten year old son, and is very professional. It turns out her previous boyfriend is initiating a custody fight for her son, even though he isn’t the father, he is unemployed, and she is putting her son through private school.

It has nothing to do with drugs or illegal activity, the suit is 100% because she is a ‘sex worker’. A legal,above board job. It made me pretty furious, and I helped her find an appropriate lawyer (she will win, but its gonna take months).

Anyhoo, that was just setting the stage for I Support Adult Workers. The parts that deeply trouble me are the stats that 99% of workers get physically abused, a large number are trafficked, and substance abuse is rampant. Which is why I believe it needs to be moved out of the shadows, legalized, unionized, and have stricter protections for workers in the trade.

Instead of ‘independent contractors’ there needs to be union pensions, health services, and legal services as part of the job. Otherwise people are literally being thrown to the wolves, as we see today.

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If you’ve seen the horse episode of this wonderful, underrated series, you’ll know what I mean… :wink:

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To be clear, I was referring to ad hominem attacks on the participants in the debate. @anon61221983’s response to @shaddack’s original comment was civil, as was his response, even if it was logically flawed. I suppose the initial sentiment - that women are unreliable unless they are sex workers - is an ad hominem attack on women in general.

I don’t think my words could be interpreted as excusing him or his initial comment (which I don’t agree with). I was just happy that the subsequent exchange didn’t descend into personal attacks. Hence why I felt @awjt’s assertion that people were beating up on @shaddack was a bit too strong.

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