Meditating man sees UFO, lacking camera depicts incident in crayon

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Wow, poorly drawn stick figures! All my beliefs about the credibility of this report are henceforth overturned!

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Well, at least he was saved the trouble of figuring out how to make a smartphone camera take a picture out of focus and too dark. It’s getting harder and harder to make a credible paranormal sighting photograph since cameras have gotten so good and so automatic.

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This is enough evidence for me!

I am just waiting for the crayon drawing of the probing…

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Fixed it:

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Are the white blobs lens flare?

If so, was this done by JJ Abrams?

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Obviously if he had had a camera he would have taken a photo, so this picture proves he had no camera, thus he can be trusted.

But who has crayons, paper, GPS, watch, flat surface, pantaloons, and chair, but no camera? Dammit, I DID want to believe.

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This shows how the bumpersticker phrase “Pics Or It Didn’t Happen” has too much weight in our modern culture.

Meditation. It’s better than sitting around doing nothing.

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WTF? He’s pointing a harpoon gun at it? You never point a harpoon gun at a UFO!

I get more of a Mujahideen-with-RPG vibe off of the figure:

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Clearly he witnessed a Cheops class Goa’uld warship!

And the fact that only he saw a ship the size of a mountain over San Bernandino must mean it had some new cloaking technology, and he must somehow be immune to its effects! Quickly! We need to inform Stargate Command!

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“That was the one that took me.”

All UFOs have cloaking technology that works perfectly unless the observer is really really drunk.

This is another problem with UFO sightings these days. It’s hard to credibly claim that a gigantic vessel can appear in a populated area, and not one person thought to pull out their cellphone and snap a picture. Can you imagine what Twitter would look like if some giant flying pyramid appeared over NYC? (snarky answer: it would instantly failwhale).

Once again, XKCD has this scenario covered.

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