Michael Douglas denies masturbating in front of ex-employee even though it hasn't been reported


#1

Originally published at: https://boingboing.net/2018/01/10/michael-douglas-denies-masturb.html


#2

He’s just getting out a head of it.


#3


#4

Ummm what?


#5

Dude, the wonderful thing about masturbation is that you can do it without involving anyone else.


#6

Ready, fire, aim!


#7

Seriously don’t get that at all.

You have all the creepiness and lack of consent with sexual assault and none of the sex. Its like the lazy guy’s answer to acting like a perv.


#8

Talk about ‘dry snitching’ on yourself.


#9

Is there a German word for sarcastically faking surprise or shock to hide indignation? Can we get top people working on that?


#10

giphy


#11

I could always tell that Michael Douglas has no imagination.


#12

let me google that for you:
sarkastisch gefälschte Überraschung

it is more properly pronounced all as one word, with a sort of explosive sigh or groan, wait, am I doing it too? geez this IS pervasive…

and what? no potted plants involved? amateur


#13

Don’t worry, everyone! His preemptive denial totally means he’s innocent. ::roll_eyes:


#14

Well, that’s definitely a plus, but I wouldn’t call it the wonderful thing about it.


#15

i guess there is no right thing to do. Get the torches and pitchforks, it’s gonna be a long year.


#16

I’d like to go on record right now that I, too, have never masturbated in front of an employee. An ex-employee, that is. Of Michael Douglas, I mean.


#17

I guess he decided that he needed some pointers on how to go about it, and demonstrated his (lack of) ability in front of them…?


#18

[Thinking really hard]

…not masturbate in front of people who don’t want to watch you masturbate?


#19

POPPYCOCK I SAY


#20

“schlechtes Handeln” (bad acting)

Full Disclosure: I’m not a top person