Mother enraged over creases that remind her of genitalia on teddy bears

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@frauenfelder are you channeling Ed Anger?

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Ha, the pictures on the article are great!

“Okay, good, now, Mrs. ShameShame, can we get a picture of you holding the cake. Okay, now, if you could GLARE ANGRILY at the, uh, art of teh teddy bear in question…oh yes, yes, that’s just grand.”


Fortunately for her, she ordered the one with a pink bow. The other one would have given her a heart attack.


I don’t buy the cake shop’s explanation of the crease, if it is supposed to represent a seam then the biggest problem here is bad craftsmanship because there’s no seams anywhere else and it doesn’t look like a seam anyways. Of course I wouldn’t fly off the handle and call it genitals either, so I guess the best fix here is for both parties to just shut up and go their separate ways.

The shop probably should have refunded the money early on just to avoid the whole thing blowing up but it’s probably too late for that.


I hate prudes, and this lady sounds like a loon to boot. But honestly? Gotta side with mom on this one. If that’s supposed to be a “seam,” it needs to be twice or three times longer. At least she’s not suing for mental distress or some bullshit. (If it was me, though, I would have laughed my ass off and then dragged a toothpick up the thing’s belly before putting it on the table. No time for getting refunds, there’s cake to eat!).


I dunno, if I were the shop I’d let it blow up.

Then offer cakes with our without seams.

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I’ve never seen genitalia on real teddy bears. What does it look like?


All this about a christening cake. Does she have any idea where that baby has been?


The cake is so well put together otherwise – these guys are clearly good at their job – I’m surprised they missed this detail. Still, just take a butterknife and smooth it out and call it a day.


It’s never too early to teach shame?

That’s why doctors be slappin, they’re all “Get teh hell outta there WHAT WERE YOU THINKIN CHILD?”


“What is this, a seam for ANTS?!?.. it needs to be at least… three times longer!”


That turns out to be a very tricky one. Despite resembling mammals, teddy bears have more or less entirely different reproductive behaviors and mechanisms.

Sexually mature teddy bears are attracted by the scent of low labor costs; and congregate to form a large, fuzzy, fruiting body, rather like slime molds. The fruiting body emits pheremones that interfere with cognition in nearby humans, disrupting normal social activity and inducing ‘sweatshop-specific stereotyped behavior’, where the afflicted frantically assemble new teddy bears as fast as they are able; with the traits of the new bears reflecting the pheremonal mix of the fruiting body.

Not as bad as parasitoid wasps; but still pretty gruesome.



I think it might help her to be less concerned about the sexual nature of bears that she finds on cake.


Snail wouldn’t have much time to be mad…

I used to wonder if Ed Anger was really Mykel Board.

Let’s ask Pedobear


Are you seriously suggesting that the shop intended it to represent female genitalia?

It’s like a rorschach-test for prude idiots.

That something like this gets attention and an article in this local newspaper is baffling.