Conceived by farting? That’s wild.
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Please.
Nobody cares about her kids. What an arrogant person.
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I’ve had strangers ask me (father of three girls) if wanted one of them to be a boy. Strangers have asked my friend – who is much older than his wife – “Second marriage?”. Strangers tell my sister, who by choice has no children, “You should consider adoption.” Strangers are just full of comments.
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In fac(t), I say “a fack”,
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Excerpt from This American Life/Wiretap:
Josh Karpati: We have no time. And you know why we have no time? Because we have twins. Now, that word should be banned. You know what twins actually are? Two fucking babies at the same time. So that’s what people should say, “Oh, I see you have two fucking babies at the same time. That must be fucking crazy. How do you manage that?” That’s what it should be like. Because that’s the reality.
Jonathan Goldstein: Because you think that twins doesn’t get the idea across?
Josh Karpati: That’s correct. People think, oh, I raised-- particularly older people-- I raised two children, I raised three children. How hard could it be? They were all different ages. Children are very, very different at different developmental stages. Two fucking babies at the same time, very, very different. That’s all. So nomenclaturally, that’s what I have to contribute. That’s my great contribution to parenting philosophy in America.
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I had a neighbor with triplets. All with red hair.
You got off easy!
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“fack”
Mark is weird, god love 'im.
I say “fack” when reading it normally, but when I say it out loud out of context and want other people to understand me, I sometimes pronounce each letter.
I like when people write “an FAQ”, because it looks weird and because I can pronounce it “an fack”. I’m easily amused, though.
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We had that question, as peopple were looking at them…
We had the opposite, a(for now) short(normal) boy and a tall girl who shares appearance with her older brother and is a mini-me to her mother. People seem irritated that she is twinned with the brother she doesn’t resemble and not her older brother, to the point of sometimes trying to correct us.
Since they were home birth we had to schlep them in for tests and the magic signature making them documentable humans. Best/worst comment was when I put two newborns into one car seat(they fit when it is used as a baby basket) to carry them into the hospital…
Are they Siamese twins?
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My favorite response to “Are they identical?”:
“One is, the other isn’t.”
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an F.A.Q if spelled F.A.Q, a FAQ if spelled FAQ.
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As a parent of non-identical-twins-who-do-kinda-look-alike I can say the sign would not add to the amount of attention you’re already getting. And it’s not so much an FAQ (yes “an”) as much as it’s the default conversation you have with people. Most people will ask exactly those questions with zero shame.
I’ve also heard “How can you tell them apart?” a bunch (answer: I see them every day), “What if you mixed 'em up in the hospital and gave A the name that was meant for B” (answer: I didn’t), “Do you ever mistake one for the other?” (answer: Yes, from time to time, mostly when they’re wearing the same clothes).
It gets a lot better once you no longer need a stroller.
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FAQ does not need punctuation either way (some style guides advise the use of punctuation for initialisms, others say all caps are enough). You either pronounce it as an initialism or an acronym. This means both “an FAQ” and “a FAQ” are correct.
yeah but I would pronounce it as F A Q if it were punctuated, and FACK if not. Of course if both an and a are allowed then it means that whichever was used functions as an indicator of the pronunciation desired by the user. That feels sort of weird as well.
I’m also a parent of twins and have had the same experience. If I’d made a sign it would probably have said “If I hear the phrase ‘double trouble’ again I will not be held responsible for my actions”.
Mine are 5 as well, and are now different enough in size and appearance that they’re rarely commented on any more.
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Was lucky enough to have twins, a boy and a girl with very different body shapes. Most common FAQ, “Are they identical”. Well, doh!
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But whose drool is the lamination supposed to protect from? The infants’? Or the mouth-breathing strangers who simply are too stupid to mind their own goddamn business?
Seriously, operating a human body within the public sphere requires only a few rules.
- Don’t be naked (this includes pissing. I know, it’s not sexual, but the law says you’re a sex offender if anyone who doesn’t want to see your dick: sees your dick. Even in the middle of a densely forested park at 2AM, when you think you’re alone because you haven’t heard a human noise for 3 hours, and need to take a piss), unless in a bathroom stall (door closed, dumbass), or in a place with signs posted saying it’s okay to wear less than your underpants.
- Try to smoke 25 feet from public entrances… (feel indignant if someone tells you to get further from the door if you’re at your place of work. Nobody tells me what to do at work, besides higher ranking people. That’s how you survive the BSA…)
- Do not talk to anyone in a frank way, physically face to face in publicly viewable spaces, even your friends. Because anyone could take what two people say to each other, and turn it into a code that deciphers into something incriminating, and the credulous fools in the government will believe that prosecutor’s-wet-dream story over the truth, no matter what evidence there is to disprove such a notion.
- Don’t swear while speaking to someone you are first meeting. It makes you look like a stupid person, if someone perceives that you can’t properly react to or describe something truly awe inspiring. Although I admit that many people have escaped my own judgement for swearing, because I don’t think the heuristic is true, but recognize that it is practiced by lots of people who could be great friends.
- Don’t get drunk or high with strangers. (Which these days means, only get drunk or high at home, in the dead of night, by yourself, without interacting with anyone, even on the internet.)
Suddenly I feel like I have the lifestyle of a geriatric, rural conservative. Even though I am a skeptic, atheist, humanist, feminist, and an ally to social justice… I’m confusing myself here.
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Definitely hate the IVF question which I’ve gotten about my non-twin daughter as well. It’s WAY to personal, especially given that I know people who’ve done it and how hard it is psychologically. I’m often polite to a fault, but I’ve a mind to be really explicit the next time someone asks me that questions so that they understand how rude they’re being. Unless someone volunteers that info, it’s none of your business how that baby was made to start growing.
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This is unrelated to the actual post, but a funny twin story nonetheless.
At age 4, my daughter was going to half day preschool. There was one boy she talked about all the time: Bradon, Bradon, Bradon. I could never hear the end of Bradon.
One day, I’m at pick up and I run into Bradon’s mom - and apparently Bradon has a (non-identical in fact but they totally looked identical at age 4) TWIN, Preston, who I had NEVER heard about.
Apparently, the big debate between Bradon and Preston was, “Who was (my kid)'s boyfriend?”
It was very amusing, but I totally didn’t tell that mom that I had the answer to that question, as I think it would have really hurt her feelings that not only did my kid prefer Bradon, but she preferred him so much that I didn’t even know Preston existed.
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