I have so much headline envy right now.
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So you’re saying Elvis haunts your toaster too?! 
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Oh snap, I almost forgot about the “illegitimate child” story that the Enquirer allegedly hushed up.
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The idea of an illegitimate toddler trump wobbling about somewhere on this planet is frightening.
What could go wrong?
Just hoping for the kid’s sake that Don Jr. doesn’t pull a Joffrey and order a purge of the bastards to strengthen his claim on the line of succession.
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