Neil Gaiman agrees to read entire Cheesecake Factory menu, with a catch

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I love that man.

And this is the closest I’m prepared to get to a Cheesecake Factory menu. I’d much rather spend $15 toward the reading than $15 on their “food”.


Which charity though? One assumes the ADA.

From the very first paragraph:

Neil Gaiman has just agreed to do a dramatic reading of the Cheesecake Factory menu, which is nearly the size of a Bible. But there’s a catch – the Coraline author will only do the reading if $500,000 has been raised for a charity of his choice, which happens to be the United Nations Refugee Agency.


Yeah, lots of choices, but nothing you’d go out of your way to eat.

The cheesecake is good. But it is a serious insult to your cardiovascular system.


I tried it once a long time ago. I can only get behind the second of those two statements.


My theory on CCF is that they essentially continue to exist because the cheesecake is quite good and it’s the last thing you eat, so despite having overpriced and middlingly mediocre entrees you leave having just had the best part of the experience.


The Cheesecake Factory should offer to match the $500,000 if they reach it.


hmm. I failed to read that line somehow. thanks.

This meets my approval, but when the time comes, wouldn’t it be better if he switched scripts, and read something more interesting?. also, shorter, like the NYC phonebook?

I remember it tasting overly airy, too sugary, more emphasis on the cake than cheese, piled with congealed whip cream that tasted heavier than the cake itself, and doused in really crappy fruit preserve that was more sugar and preservative than fruit, plus a too soggy crust. The whole mess reminded me more of warmed-over cheesecake ice cream than real New York style cheesecake made the way God intended. And it was as unpleasant leaving as it was arriving :poop:

Bon appétit!


Hahahaha , ugh. Thanks for that mental image.

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Oddly, the Times rejected my application for restaurant critic.


I’ve gone out of my way to get ones from the places near where I live and found it to be generally better than most places I’ve found. I would also be clear that I’m not saying ‘ah yes, the pinnacle of cheesecake. Truly a tour de force of the cheese and cake and actually a pie world’, I’m simply saying that it’s quite good for what it is - and they had a great variety, which is always nice.

Simply put, I’m grading on a curve, like we do in all things.

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Question for the room : Does indeed this theorised [quote=“falcon2001, post:13, topic:101551”]
pinnacle of cheesecake.
[/quote]exist, and will they deliver to the South Pacific?.


Well, to each there own. IMHO they just make it with as much sugar as they can so you can barely taste how bad it really is while the sugar high is clouding your mind. It’s a common tactic of American chain restaurants which tends to work because Americans are insanely addicted to sugar.

Normally I wouldn’t care, but cheesecake is one of my top ten dishes and theirs is an insult to one of civilization’s highest achievements. I agree it’s not much better in most places. Making good cheesecake is actually pretty challenging, but they don’t even try.


So, how exactly is the menu 8,000 pages? I managed to visit one location some years ago and I do not recall such an intimidating tome. It would surely be rather off-putting to many patrons.

I might chip in if they breach $200K.

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Cheesecake, Gaiman;
There is nothing not to love about this post.


It’s hyperbole, but the menu is incredibly long. It’s at least 20 or 30 pages.


I would totally buy the audiobook of him reading that menu.


The Cheesecake factory should jump in and donate.