New bride pushes husband off cliff

boing
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That post title typo makes the article that much more amazing.

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Wow. First a bride does it and then a bridge. Now when a bird does it that is three and it’s a trend and we can see it on the Huffington Post. (Side boob Optional)

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This reminds me of that episode of Cheers, when Cliff accidentally pushed Norm off of a bridge.

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Yegads, Pat Robertson wasn’t just right, he didn’t go far enough! Forget sex with ducks, we’ve now legalized sex with massive pieces of infrastructure!

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Fixed! For the record, it said “New bridge pushes husband off cliff”, which sounds like an idea for a feature in Minecraft.

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It was a place he wanted to see before he died. Well, taken this way, she made it happen with great immediacy; he saw it, he died. I suppose she took his request too literally.

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No criminal is a smart criminal I guess. Some of those trails are legitimately dangerous, with a few fake tears she could have easily conjured up some story how he was trying to get a unique picture and just fell off on his own.

Or something.

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I wouldn’t necessarily call her the dumbest murderer–although the more clever folks out there can generally get through life without murdering someone–but perhaps she’s just really bad at the follow through. I mean, obviously she’s good at murder itself, fine, but there is all the fine detail work that goes along with murder that people don’t appreciate.

Let’s acknowledge that if you hope to get away with murder you need to be one or more of the following:

  • In a high crime area where murders often go unsolved
  • Rich
  • Famous
  • Detail-oriented
  • Willing to kill terribly unpopular people in the context of a popular uprising
  • A government employee
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I guess it looked something like this.

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55-YEAR-OLD-SPOILER: That’s pretty much exactly what happens during the title character’s honeymoon in Auntie Mame.

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I’m glad I have no interest in murdering anyone, because I am a terrible liar and would be caught within hours - no matter how well I tried to prepare.

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Murder is easy, it’s getting away with it that’s hard. (I think Perry Mason said that.)

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