New toilet paper dispenser delivers 3 squares if you watch a 30-second commercial 💩

Originally published at: New toilet paper dispenser delivers 3 squares if you watch a 30-second commercial 💩 | Boing Boing

2 Likes

Karma would be the inventor experiencing explosive diarrhea, and having to spend 5-30 minutes in the “penalty box” to get enough to clean up the “crime scene.”

17 Likes

That would get smashed pretty quickly in the US, I can only imagine.

12 Likes

It had also damn well better inform your employer that you’re wasting half a minute sitting on the toilet watching a commercial, and dock your pay.

16 Likes

Emma Roberts Wtf GIF by ScreamQueens

14 Likes

The War on Pooping has begun!

9 Likes

Toilet Paper Seinfeld GIF by MOODMAN

12 Likes

(giggle giggle) “He doesn’t know how to use the three seashells!!”

6 Likes

Wow. China is out capitalisming the US! Impressive.

3 Likes

There’s a THX-1138/Logan’s Run story to be told somewhere of someone going mad, desperately trying to find the last place they can be without having to watch a short commercial.

6 Likes

Beyond demented, this. Distopia ahoy!
So, two possible remedies, the first being one of these:

Opensesame

the second, taking note of the products being advertised and placing them on Ye Eternal Black List.

4 Likes

After enough people resort to wiping their asses on the seats maybe they’ll get the hint.

4 Likes

I was about to say that China has really become a real innovation lab for breeding new high-tech dystopias, but frankly so has the US - I’m just more used to ours.

4 Likes

You better be buying some of those advertised products, or your social credit score is also going to be in the shitter.

3 Likes

Honestly, I imagine it’ll get smashed pretty quickly in China unless it has facial recognition cameras in it.

/me thinks about it.

Yeah, OK. It probably has facial recognition cameras in it.

6 Likes

My thoughts drifted to a much more disturbing recognition database.

5 Likes

It’s admittedly a superstitious practice; but there’s a reason why (along with the tools that are actually useful in the context) my dealing-with-machines kit includes a big flat-head screwdriver that’s utterly useless except for aggressive prying without the slightest pretense of delicate, spudgerly, concern; and a solid smashing hammer.

They are of no direct use; but it keeps the machines from getting ideas.

Unfortunately, it’s ultimately the humans getting ideas you have to watch out for; and there are fewer legally compliant remedies for that.

3 Likes

Already been done

4 Likes

Not really. Socialists have been telling people that for something like a decade now, but we get told we’re doing “No True Scotsman” in reply.

Mao would have disowned the current CPC for being “capitalist roaders”.

7 Likes

Shot at. But yeah.

1 Like