New York Times posts, then removes, article announcing discovery of watermelons on Mars

“Police say” has become a universal indicator that what follows is a joke.

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Brilliant.

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I’m picturing a mashup between the “Mars Needs Women” remix of “Pump up the Volume” and Herbie Hancock’s “Watermelon Man”.

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We need the assistance of the best botanist on Mars, stat!

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Sorry, we could only get the worst botanist on Mars. But in a stroke of luck, he’s the best buggy driver on Mars and so will be over shortly.

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The Director was not amused.

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Is that GIF of Marvin in 3D? It appears to have the telltale cyan and red fringes. I usually have anaglyph glasses beside my monitor, but they’ve apparently walked off, so I can’t check.

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if there is any justice in the world, (Ron Howard: There isn’t.) Kissinger’s obit will consist of two words:

Good riddance.

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Only the good, etc.

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maybe they would actually glow like that in earth’s atmosphere. don’t beat yourself up.

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matt damon?

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“This article was published in error.”

Oh, come on. Do you know how many subscribers you could have gained if you just said:

“This article was published in error. We meant to state that there were fields of butternut squash which was odd since they are normally found on Venus.”

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Meanwhile, Louie Gohmert (it had to be Texas) is asking about the National Forest Service’s plans to combat climate change by - [checks notes] - changing the orbit of the Earth or the Moon:

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if we move the moon, can we then grow watermelon there as well?
Moon Melon™: out of this world!

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Well…

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JqE0

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As god is my witness, I thought kiwis could fly.

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