Originally published at: New York Times posts, then removes, article announcing discovery of watermelons on Mars | Boing Boing
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Kissinger is dead?
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I suspect this was some kind of test page/sandbox document used to try out formatting on the web platform but not intended for actual publication.
Anyway everyone knows the climate on Mars is better suited to cold weather crops like potatoes.
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Now nobody will believe it when police actually discover watermelons on Mars.
Another case of The Grey Lady who cried Watermelon…
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A very quick, very bad photoshop (well, MS Paint if I’m being honest) that I did:
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Those aren’t watermelons…
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This story is terribly boring.
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And yet still worth more attention than most of what the New York Times posts! 
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Oh, Henry Kissinger’s obit in the New York Times will be somewhat silly, just you wait and see.
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They’re trying to stop any possible relief for the Martian Potato Famine.
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less silly and more fellatic would be my prediction with nary a word about genocides conducted.
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And people are stupid…
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“Henry Kissinger’s pre-written obit.”
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Had to check. He’s 98.
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Today we bid farewell to prominent statesman Henry Kissinger. While his record has been criticized, at a time like this it seems fair to recognize his greatest achievements: negotiating the Paris Peace Accords, convincing Tom Lehrer to give up on political satire, and losing his glasses in a Springfield nuclear plant toilet.
We’ll see if they manage to outdo even that much when the time comes.
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New Chuck Tingle title: “Pounded in the Butt by a Martian Watermelon Man”.
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