I slice the bread. I slice the bread. I slice the bread. I am the bread. New at Arbys, chicken wings.
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?
Actually, seeing as I am Bread is a rage game, it really fits well with our theme of nihilistic futility.
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The BBQ sauce flows down, like an effervescent stream of mediocrity. The only savior is our processed meat and hydroponic lettuce. Eat. Arbys?
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What is a pickle, I once asked. “An embalmed cucumber” it answered. Sweet, sweet relish is now… Free at Arbys.
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“Cheese is mandatory”, I was told. " but what about allergies!?". “Cheese is mandatory”, I was told. Arbys.
The capybara, the coelacanth, the anaconda. They are roast beef. Enjoy your Arbys milkshake.
How do he know?
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It will surprise nobody here that I really like Arby’s. (And that’s kinda sad… not so much that I like them, but that I am further destroying my reputation as a gentleman of halfway-respectable taste. Remember, I think a $5 Hot-n-Ready pepperoni pizza from Little Caesar’s is a delectable screaming deal.)
The only Arby’s anywhere near me, as far as I’ve been able to discover, is the one on Sunset about a mile east of the Cinerama Dome. The one that used to look like a rundown old Quonset hut, with the old-school sign out front.
Here are some of Jon Stewart’s digs at Arby’s:
I always get the big roast beef sandwich, the one they used to call The Big Montana, and a couple of potato cakes (which are triangular hash browns, essentially), and a chocolate shake. Probably 2,500 calories right there, but I don’t get into Hollywood more than a couple times a year these days, so Arby’s is a rare treat for me.
I don’t eat their sauce. The “Arby’s sauce” is just bad sweet BBQ sauce, and the Horsey sauce is… gah, I don’t even like good horseradish. My parents always liked the Horsey sauce, though. But they were Depression-era folks who ate things like black licorice and pickled pigs’ feet, so what did they know?
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That last one: “Because your hunger is stronger than your memory” will be the title of my autobiography.
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Oh I love horseradish. Same stuff in wasabi, right?
Also looks like Arby’s modernized their logo at some point, I hadn’t noticed that…
But it seems they reverted that hideousness to some extent, since what is on arbys.com looks more like the old logo now. I want my ol’ brown and tan cowboy hat back!
Oof. That brown and tan one. All it lacks is a waterline and a couple of embedded kernels of corn.
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Nope. Not in 99% of the US at least, and while wasabi is called Japanese Horseradish it’s in a different genus than common Horseradish, although still in the Brassicaceae family.
The wasabi you find in stores in the US is usually a hot mustard mixed with common horseradish that’s been dyed green. Because true wasabi is very difficult to grow outside of a few places in Japan, and the isothiocyanate compounds that make it spicy are difficult to preserve to the store shelf. They break down really fast, and once the plant is dead, it stops producing them.
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Only consistency. Rule 34 dictates that the question has an answer somewhere but I’m not looking …
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The Jackass guys spent some time collecting a sample from a horse in one of the Jackass movies. Chris Pontius drinks it, doesn’t vomit, as Steve-o does his regurgitation schtick, and simply remarks: “that’s definitely semen”, then “I’m truly ashamed of myself.”
Apparently, he did it to give himself an out for something “really bad” he was going to do later.
You can find the video for it on youtube keywords: “jackass movie horse”
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see also
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Exactly 
The world is a cesspool of hate, greed, and filth. Small minded bigotry and willful ignorance rule the masses. Science is entertainment. Life is pointless. You drink the horsey sauce directly from the pump in a bid to die. Death by gluttony is the last entertainment. Enjoy Arbys!
Edit: not 150 characters but appropriately brutal so I’m keeping it
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Cowboy hat?
I see it now.
I thought it was a fish.
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Life is short and like what you like. My wife mocks me cause I constantly buy (and enjoy) extremely sour gummy candies 
Since I don’t have enough to do, I need to set up something like Depressed Taco Bell on twitter. Or Whitecastle, Sadcastle.
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I still get a jones for those about twice a year but the frozen ones are not quite the same.
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