Originally published at: No more funeral home markups — you can now buy caskets direct for your corpse! | Boing Boing
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The dead can wait.
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I really hope that California moves forward with the legalization of human composting like Washington, Oregon and Colorado. Apparently opposition from the Catholic Church was part of the reason for delay in the California legislation. Because everyone knows that god wants our corpses pumped full of chemicals and covered in makeup before being buried in an expensive box that subsequently gets covered with a concrete vault.
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I never thought about this before but how do vampires buy caskets without raising suspicion if you normally have to purchase one from the same people who arrange to put the body in the ground?
“No, no. I don’t vant the service, just the coffin. Vhat do you have that provides adequate back support?”
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According to Bram Stoker in Dracula, it involves a lot of moving parts and money, with a little “spiritual influence” mixed in.
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Still, set dressing will cost extra. A lot extra.
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Cool. Now we can get one of those fun fantasy coffins from Ghana. Or anywhere else now for that matter.
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It was also probably an entirely different process of getting a casket in the late 19th century then now, when corporations basically dominate the funeral industry. Back then, you probably just went over to a local carpenter and paid him for a casket instead of buying them through a funeral home.
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This is really “whistling past the graveyard”. Snicker…
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Man, now I miss those Amazon buttons you could configure to order stuff for you when you pressed them. Feeling chest pain? Slam your hand down on the Amazon button to get your coffin order in - faster and easier than trying to talk Alexa into it while you are gasping for breath calculating whether or not you can afford the cost of ER "facility"fees…
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Just donate my empty husk to science, please.
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My heirs are officially allowed to save a few bucks and collect my ashes in a paper bag or other repurposed biodegradable container and do whatever with them after that. The atoms were never really mine, I just borrowed them for a while.
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I checked, shipping is 6 to 8 days, my best guess is storage of the body will cost exactly the difference in the funeral home’s cost and your savings.
Costco has been selling caskets for a while, whenever my daughter is with me at Costco we always stop by the display to see what’s new in my eternal resting box.
My woodworking skills are not there yet but if I ever do get skilled enough to make a wooden box I’ll pre make my own.
But my creation won’t be pretty or waterproof or even close properly.
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Will they have a home-cremation kit available soon?
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That’s how we get shows like Coffin Flop… 
https://www.vulture.com/article/i-think-you-should-leave-coffin-flop-sketch.html
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“It’s leftover night, kids. We need to make room in the fridge for grandma.”
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I dont need a fancy casket, just throw my carcass to the vultures
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I’m afraid that if you want a sky burial you’ll need to make sure you die in Tibet or thereabouts.
Maybe there’s an option to have your corpse shipped to Tibet after you die, but that service would certainly cost more than a coffin. Plus you couldn’t embalm it for travel because you don’t want to poison the birds.
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