Sending “thoughts and prayers”.
Which ones, the animals or the church deacons?
“I’m sorry sir, your insurance policy doesn’t cover acts of God. When you initialed the waiver you also wrote ‘like I’m ever going to need that!’ in the margin’”…
You can use “God’s Magic” to explain how Noah fit all those animals in there, and fed them, and kept them from eating each other, and cleaned out the massive amounts of manure daily, but apparently you can’t use “God’s Magic” to save your actual ark from water damage.
“OK, which one of you wasn’t praying hard enough?”
Sunday! Sunday! SUNDAY!
“…home to what fanatics and idiots claim is a 510 foot long model of the biblical Noah’s Ark…”
There, fixed it for you.
That is utterly brilliant.
It’s fair to have a model of fictional things, the Millennium Falcon, the starship Enterprise, many models from Gundam, etc. You only become an idiot when you believe the original is part of reality and not simply interesting folklore.
You had one job!
Man, a few more “acts of God” like this, and they might run out of money… or at least take a hint.
Nooooo, not the unicorns. I should have known, My Little Pony - Friendship is Magic is ending this year after all.
Creflo Dollar! He’s the man they deserve.
See also: ‘a history if the world in 10 1/2 chapters’
It’s like raaaaa-ee-yaaaaain undermining the structure of your ark replica…
But surely the cat herd will just push it back on again?
Bravo! You’ve hit upon the ultimate proof that the world is round; otherwise the cats would have pushed everything over the edge and the planet would be empty.
They originally planned to have live animals onboard. But then realized god’s perfect plan was cruel and pointless.