"Nosefrida the Snotsucker" reminds us babies are gross


Suck it up with your mouth? What is this, the stone ages? Just buy one of these bad boys, attach it directly to your vacuum!

So that‘s where all those alien abduction/anal probe stories are coming from… they’re repressed Windi memories.


This is my standard new-baby gift now. Everyone thinks it’s a gross gag until the first time their kid’s nose is really stuffed up not just cosmetically stuffed up. It’s amazing (and impossible not to retch the first time you use it).

At first glance, I thought this thing was named Noseferatu, which, if you ask me, would have been a better name.


Wait! So, you use the Winidi if you want to suck the shit out of your baby?

I don’t really see why you’d want to risk a mouthful of baby goobers instead of just using the little blue squeeze bulbs my mom used for a decade working as a pediatric nurse, raising 4 kids, and helping family to raise many more.

Also babies are super gross. But nothing is grosser than boys aged 8-13. Yes you will come into close contact with your babies noxious poop. But wait 10 years and the kid will find/make noxious poop. Mount it on a stick, and introduce it to your face. And that’s before living critters get involved. (I don’t have kids, but I was once a 10 year old boy, and I committed atrocities, hilarious atrocities).

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Having seen one of these in action (well, actually the vacuum one that I linked above), I am fully willing to admit that they are FAR more effective at booger-removal than the little squeeze bulbs.

But in theory, an 8-13 year old boy is highly unlikely to run around the house spraying shit out of their ass. Or to throw up directly into your mouth (which my son did to my wife, when he was wee)

I suppose its a matter of intention. If the 8-13 year old boy runs around the house spraying shit out of his ass he meant to do that. And he likely did it either out of spite, or because he found it hilarious. The baby just can’t help but be gross. I find the deliberate grossness grosser for some reason.

And if that doesn’t work, there’s always the pneumatic tubes at the bank drive-thru.

You use Nosefrida over the squeeze bulbs because the squeeze bulbs don’t work very well. I have two of the squeeze bulbs and only bought the gross mouth vac because the bulbs didn’t work. Mouth vac works great.

And I didn’t retch. It’s not even really that gross, once you understand the operation of it and realize it’s your baby’s snot, not some stranger’s snot, that you’re sucking out. I’ve ended up with a mouthful of gas from siphoning something - that’s grosser, to me.

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Sucking into your mouth? Even if it catches the snot, you are still taking in aerosol droplets and germs galore. Is there a filter?

I understand the frustration with the meager devices they offer as “nasal aspirators” for babies. They are completely ineffective. We got one of these at the local pharmacy:

Yes, its a freaking enema bulb, but it will suck the snot out.

Same reason people collect bugs that way. As long as you use it right so you don’t inhale snot and/or bugs it works better and gives you more control than trying to manage airflow with some dinky rubber squeeze bulb.

There is a filter. But I think it’s mostly there for psychological reasons. First of all the diameter of the snot collection tube, for lack of a better term, increases several fold right after the orifice. That means the velocity of the air drops a lot (precise measurements would be needed to quantify “a lot”, but it’s likely around a 4x-8x drop in velocity) and so any solids settle out onto the sides of the tube.

It might be possible to aspirate aerosol droplets without the filter, but again, you’re aspirating your own baby’s snot in that case which - in case you’ve never had a baby - you aspirate everything from the child anyway. Every bodily fluid they have ends up on every imaginable surface of your self. I’m not worried about germs - even germs “galore” - from their snot.

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Exactly. How often have you had a snotty baby smush their snotty nose around, and then stick a snotty finger in your eye/nose/mouth? Happened to me more times than I can count with both of my kids.

I can understand that some people are squeamish about bodily fluids, even when it’s their own kids, but I just can’t imagine living that way. I was desensitized to just about anything that could come out of my kids in short order, out of absolute necessity (our firstborn was a projectile vomiter, and would do so at the drop of a hat. Our secondborn was the queen of the poopsplosions - leaks aplenty!)

But still. But still.

In the old country, they used to put their mouth right over baby’s nose and suck the snot into their own mouth. Makes a tube and filter apparatus seem positively sterile, doesn’t it?

Great. Now I need a device to suck the milk out of my nose.

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I’d still prefer if it had some kind of reverse-bong style plumbing. I’m sure I’ve seen one that has, come to think of it.

The whole point of the Nosefrida is that you don’t get a mouthful of snot-- it ends up in the tube, and the blue filter is another line of defense. I’ve used both and find the blue bulb far easier. Both are pure torture from the baby’s perspective btw.