Notice in bar bathroom for women who need to get out of a date that's not going well

I am really surprised by the tone of most of the comments. I don’t think this is a subject to joke about, and usually boing boing readers are more sensitive. At least that is the reason why this is about the only site where I even bother reading the comments.

I think it’s a great idea to have this formalized way of asking for help, because then you can be sure the staff you are talking to knows exactly what’s your problem. If you fear to not make your situation clear or get a response like “c’mon, give the guy a chance, he looks rather decent”, then you probably don’t speak up at all. When you don’t know what’s in your drink when you return from the bathroom, this might be your only chance to get help.

After reading about “Ask for Angela” a few weeks ago, my first thought was “yes, but if everyone knows the code, that could be a problem”. Using different signals is a good idea, although this one is maybe a tad to complicated if you are already in a stressful situation.

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I’m really not seeing it.

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The fact that this is a situation where a poor plan is probably less safe than no plan at all (as you admit and others pointed out, it has the problem that the other person can likely know your signal and that not every bartender will know it) enters into it. Posts that are on-its-face ridiculous tend not to inspire serious comments.

And scrolling back up, I see that there are plenty of comments taking the topic of bar safety seriously as well. There’s room in the world for both earnestness and humor simultaneously.

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When I saw this the first time, I immediately thought of gay men. If a man is on a date with another man and doesn’t feel safe, then both men see the same poster in the same bathroom, so the secret code is no longer so secret.

Also spreading the code all over the internet kinda makes it not-secret as well.

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Yeah I know :frowning:

I like the idea that every bar would have it’s own code word posted in the ladies room.

Or maybe a phone in there to call the bartender from.

“Angel glue!”

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I wonder why they don’t just escort the guy from the premises?

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Not really fair absent any reason beyond “someone is vaguely uncomfortable with you.” I’ve gotten thrown off a plane (before takeoff) because an anonymous stranger reported being uncomfortable with me. I hadn’t interacted with anyone in any way besides being greeted by the flight attendant, wasn’t visibly drunk, was not smelly or gross. Just went to my seat, sat down, and got started on a 90 minute nap. Next thing I know, I’m being “asked” to deplane and talk to the gate staff.

Besides, you probably don’t want to hang around in a bar you just got your date ejected from. He might decide to wait for you outside.

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This. Very much this. Women have been hurt and killed by men who followed them outside the bar, or waited for them to come out.

Eta: I remember reading about this when it first happened. Had a hard time finding it on Google with so many other stories of bar shootings. Kind of makes me glad I live a quiet life. :cry:

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If it’s bad enough, I think they should.

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