That’s what I did too. I’ll never forget. My first, immediate thought: “Oh, smart; you just killed yourself.” My second thought: “Nah, maybe just blow your frontal lobe out of your nose.”
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Mayonnaise is the expressed puss from the back zits of Satan. Look it up, it’s true.
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Yes, it turns out Mandelson’s press office leaked the story about him thinking the mushy peas were guac to cover for the fact that he actually thought they were one of his own bile secretions.
It’s a shame really. Viscous green bile secretions are a perfectly normal arousal response in a seventh-level cacodemon but the British electorate tends to frown on that sort of thing.
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199X, I was 16 and in downtown San Diego, hungry after a long day of walking and looking for a place to eat. I’d never had sushi. I could see two cute Japanese girls at the counter and just like that I had made up my mind.
The menu was strange, full of words that didn’t make sense to me, one of the girls was waiting for me to make up my mind as I read the menu right there on the counter. Tuna, that seemed safe enough, I ordered and went and sat down at a table right across from where the girls were sitting.
When my order was served I was disappointed but tried to not let it show, a white plate with a few white rolls with a bright reddish/pink dot in the center. a tragically small portion of guacamole on the side.
“Oh well, I’ll just put it all on one of these slices, maybe I can ask for more”
I immediately turned my face away from the girls, faced the street and took it like a man, I may have doubled over, nonchalantly, like it was nothing.
I ate my meal in silence, looking at the cars pass by.
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I imagine this depends on a couple of things in descending order of probability:
- Are you trying to make peas better or fuck up guacamole?
- Are you trying to sneak peas into your kids diets?
- Does this keep it green longer, for those who have to prepare the guacamole way to far in advance and can’t be bothered to learn how to spritz with lemon juice?
- Do you live in a place where you cannot get any decent avocados? Like an oil rig? or arctic research station? or mars colony?
- Do you love peas or work for the pea promotion council?
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I’ll try that. Fresh peas are quite tasty and sweet. This might actually work, probably not with canned or even frozen peas. She tried it, and liked it, and the human automatons fuelling the shitstorm on Twitter haven’t. But that’s what you get for experimenting with an over-hyped hipster dish on the internet, suddenly the whole bunch of people considering themselves creative are all over you for trying something new. I hope they choke on their orthodox guacamole.
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Pease pudding. It’s Geordie hummus, and superior to guacamole in every way but one- its name.
I will never forget the disappointment on tasting guacamole for the first time- how could anything with such an awesome name be so horrible?
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I’m sure that’s a very interesting dip. Just don’t call it guacamole.
I fucking hate thrips.
They make a dessert and call it peas.
Also, no Nattō guacamole? Imagine my disappoint.
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Not as worshipful or celebratory.
*barfs up lunch*
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Most mushy peas have been pretty blah. The sort of thing that makes mushy peas as gross as their name sounds. I’ve only had them be shockingly good twice: once at a farmhouse B&B near the British Cotswolds, and, I have to admit, at the Rose & Crown Pub at Epcot. Those are just terrific, but I suspect they’re 50% butter and/or heavy cream.
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If you live in a region where you can only get crappy avocados, a spoonful of sour cream can also be helpful
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Considering the etymology of guacamole means āhuacamōlli, which is a sauce of avocado and chili’s, you can’t call chunky avocado and lime guacamole either.
Japhroaiged!!!
(I’m just playing around and being silly, not actually mean or condescending 
)
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I am going to start keeping a tally of who I gross out.
||
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Add one. I can, and do, cheerfully eat marmite with a spoon, but not with fucking avocado in it. Blech.
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