Finance tips:
The indictment says Saliterman knew they were stolen, and that he threatened to release a sex tape of a woman and “take her down with him” if she didn’t keep her mouth shut about the slippers.
Saliterman was in a wheelchair and on supplemental oxygen during his Friday court appearance. His oxygen machine hummed throughout the hearing and he bounced his knee nervously during breaks in the proceedings.
Written by a journalist who writes fiction on the side?
This is how I feel about all the try-to-use-easy-English stuff like Up Goer Five. Instead of being easier to understand, it sounds like weird unengaging mush.
Hemingway walks into a bar.
It’s almost like a haiku.
The five word sentence, alive!
Edit, edit again and simplify.
Reader, do you not understand?
~ “Papa” jefe
Awesome. Needs a soundtrack tho:
A photo finish.
that’s a lot of boots 
!
snake skin boots, FTW!
This article needs some appropriate music to play over it
Addressing the rumors…
Repeated observation rest of the world must be a really sad place.
… there must just be one extremely happy person in Finland throwing the average off 
