THANK YOU! 
I shall raise a glass in your honour!
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Youâre better at this than I am.
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Mod note: Stay on topic.
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Indeed, come on guys, weâre talking about masturbation in phone booths in NYC here⌠Stay on topic.
FWIW, the auto-close in 4 days canât come soon enough for me to end this awkward⌠whatever it is.
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Iâm talking about master-debating in public forums⌠gotta at least rhyme with the topic at hand 
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How many people are in these phone boxes? Arenât they typically one person sized?
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some masturbators need an audience, though.
In my imagination theyâre like this:
I guess thereâs butt-grabbing too.
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Isnât it necessary to negotiate the boundary between topic and non-topic, between masturbation station and carnation nation? If you believe something to be relevant to the topic at hand but I point out whatâs REALLY in your hand, must I consent to your sheep-like acceptance of facile norms regarding the definition of derailing masturbatory commentary? Isnât this the place for us to question the very foundations of the unwitting, blind acceptance of norms regarding online peanut gallery skullduggery that I alone here am able to see as totally coercive and arbitrary? Canât you see that Iâm just asking questions here, and that those who claim that what Iâm doing is unwittingly appropriate in a thread about the solipsistic act of masturbation have yet to reach my heights of distanced objectivity? Dear kind sir, please understand that I bear no resemblance to the ungainly sea lion!
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I canât help but thinking âmasturbation stationâ would be a great âSchoolhouse Rockâ parody.
Masturbation station, whatâs your location?
Helping guys to rub one out is my vocation.
Masturbation station, what a sensation!
Careful to avoid the cops or youâll get a citationâŚ
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It sure feels like it has been that long already⌠
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Itâs like people are just throwing stuff at the wall, to see what sticks!
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While others maybe keep dialing the same wrong number!
867-5309, for a good time call.
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Damn you Tommy Tutone!
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Guys (and I do mean guys), @anon29631895 tells me these stations are equipped with glory holes! Hmph, sometimes it seems like guys get to have all the fun.
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Did you know that 8675309 is a prime number? I bring this up because I am a massive nerd so when you guys were talking about funny things I thought âoh, interesting math fact.â
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Masturbation Station sounds like a tune out of the inevitable gritty reboot of Schoolhouse Rock.
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I canât find any good photos of it, but there are people in NJ who have built two bondage TARDISes for erotic sci-fi events.
