Outstanding rant about the surreal design ethos of The Cheesecake Factory

Reoriented, I suppose, to have a serious commitment to over-eating.

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Not sure about the Baba part, but the O’Reiley part is a reference to Terry Riley, who IMHO is one of the most kick-ass minimalists of the era.

I’ve been meaning to spend an evening with some strong, appropriate drugs and A Rainbow in Curved Air for some time now, but haven’t had the chance yet…

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Me too. I had no idea it was a real thing.

I guess I’m spoiled by British advertising standards where that level of product placement (I’m assuming CF paid for all those mentions) would be illegal. (don’t quote me on that, I am not a lawyer)

I should’ve known though. I thought In n’ Out Burger was a made up joke* burger chain. Like, it goes in but then comes straight out again.

*like the fast food equivalent of a 555 telephone number

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Okay, there are some rather odd aesthetic design choices going on there, but what I can’t get past are these menus:

This makes no sense at all. What currency needs to be quoted to three decimal places?
If this is somehow in dollars, this makes everything ridiculously cheap. If it’s not in dollars then these prices might actually be in thousands of whatever random currency unit they’re using. But then, why are they using decimal points as thousands separators? That system isn’t used anywhere where English would be the language used on the menu.

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Never even remotely considered eating there, based on the name and the font on the signage, alone…

it looks like it should be spitting nickels

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Only been there once to be honest, I had Shepherd’s Pie and it was hands down great. Ate half of it and the leftovers were just as good the next day, the cheesecake was pretty much what i expected/wanted so i have no complaints. Not really a restaurant i would go to though, as i said above, the only reason i went the one time was because i had a gift card for the place and i didn’t regret going with my friends and treating them :slight_smile:

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Bucca di Beppo is good … we sat in the kitchen once.

I would also recommend Maggiano’s for some decent Italian food. Last I was there, they had really good stuffed mushrooms and an off-menu full artichoke in butter. Rosemary chicken and Alfredo-anything was good, too.

Haven’t been there recently, Last time was in The Grove. Wish I were back in LA area with my friends.
Now I’m missing it … BRB.

But OP, … Who can resist the pageantry that is cheesecake?

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I thought I was the only one that called it that.

And there’s actually some decent food at CF. Huevos rancheros for dinner? Yes, please.

It’s truly the pinnacle of premium mediocre, though.

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Reasonably so. But somewhere they’re single-handedly keeping a butter factory in business. And the decor is so tacky it verges on sensory assault. On occasions when I do indulge, I indulge in takeout.

it’s classy as fuck

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LOL. If you ever get the kitchen table seat when they’re at capacity, it’s somewhat overrated. YMMV

Nice Pope-quarium as a centerpiece!

Or is that their specialty, Pope Under Glass?

pope-under-glass

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Most likely Kuwaiti Dinars.

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So you won’t be having some with a Starbucks coffee?

That’s more for me then.

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Perhaps the secret is that there is only one set of cheesecakes, and they rotate them from case to case and factory to factory.

Wait … you thought “Cheesecake Factory” was only a name?
gasps in astonishment

Their long-haul delivery drivers need to know how to calculate the cost of food in comparison to their cost of driving to any Cheesecake Factory in the country.

This allows simplified but precise price breakdowns to the hundredth of the dollar, as you see on fuel station signs.

By comparing their food to gas-station Slim Jims and Twinkies, one achieves a greater sense of simultaneous opulence and utility.

Truly the key to a wholesome life of cross-country dining.
See, this all makes sense now.


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I’ve been there twice, I think, and probably not in 15 years, but I recall it was a lot of pretty good B/B+ food at a reasonable price.

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They were the first hamburger place to have a drive thru in CA.
They’re also privately held and do not franchise. And they’re well known for treating their employees well.
I don’t eat fast food, but they do make a good burger for a chain and I’ll cave and have one once in a great while.
Also, Cheesecake Factory is stupid. I guess for people stuck in suburban hellscapes, the choices can be limited.

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Buca is trying to mix premium dining experience ( rat pack era decor) with the impression of an Italian American home (lots of crap on the walls from all the kids). I find it more charming if a bit odd.

ETA: an explainer here

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I like those cups, but that’s not enough incentive for me to drink that lousy coffee.

I was…uh… kidding before.

Although, who knows what effect eating all that food coloring might have.
Maybe that’s what makes the frogs gay?