Pastafarian services advertised at German town limits

boing
21

Now I figured the great schism would be between spaghetti and linguine. And of course everybody dumps on the vermicelli sect.

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Butter and parmesean is the one true sauce, and all who disagree with me are either possessed by demons or are demons themselves. The flying spaghetti monster told me so in a dream. You canā€™t prove that he didnā€™t, so it must be true!

Anyway, Iā€™m off to blow up a Marinaran church, and get my 72 meatballs in paradise.

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Meatballs belong in a red sauce, not with butter and Parmesan. You are not the true prophet.

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LIES! Meatballs belong in my stomach, and in the stomachs of the faithful. They canā€™t be ruined by even the abomination of pesto sauce. For did not the FSM say unto the children of the world, take and eat of my body? Well, he did in another dream I had, and I know itā€™s true, because he was boiled for my sins!

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Thank God for Noodlemass.

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Remember during NoodleMass only real Parmesan cheese may be used none that cheap stuff with sawdust in it. Anything else is ā€˜blasphemyā€™. 50 lashes with a wet noodle to the unbelievers!

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IMHO Pastafarianism is an exercise in reductio ad absurdum, and is valid where public assets are allocated to religion in a way that marginalizes atheists.

Putting up official signs advertising prayer times is one such (possibly benign) example of religion made a public matter. Hence: Noodle Mass.

29

Friday 10 a.m. seems an awfully inconvenient timeā€¦

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Linguini alla vongole. Splitters!

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Not if your workplace is required to give you time off to go to your religious meetings. ā€œI come in at noon on Friday because our mass is on Friday mornings, thatā€™s whyā€ sounds like a great alternative to the weekly 8:30am meeting during which nothing gets done, ever.

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You think? If Iā€™m going to do something boring and pointless Iā€™d rather get paid for itā€¦

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Maybe, but it is FSM not FLM

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True, but I suspect based on nothing that most Pastafarians are salaried or else work for start-ups

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