On the upside, they chose to follow that contractual obligation by airing it during times nobody is watching.
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Why are the bitter always the ones that keep living? 
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“A lich is an evil humanoid spellcaster who has become undead through the use of dark magic.”
That explains a lot.
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Pat, that is just the voice in your head, not God.
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"…looking more and more like David McCallum in “The Sixth Finger” episode of The Outer Limits
I can’t begin to tell you how much I enjoyed the specificity of that.
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Given the stink, perhaps produced by an orifice. A moment in a privy… not to drag Martin Luther into this.
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Same, though I grew up in Ohio.
From ages 13 to 17, I went to a Pentecostal church, but the indoctrination attempts didn’t take; merely reading the bible from cover to cover disabused me of the fallacy that it was anything more than a way of manipulating and controlling the masses via their fears.
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On Freeform 
(@El_Acordeonachi beat me to it)
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Apparently people can live forever if they have unlimited money, no shame, and a discreet hookup for recently harvested human organs
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Took the words right out of my mouth. At this point I’m pretty sure Pat Robertson thinks double rainbows are a sign of the “End Times”.
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Well, she claims to be Metis (spoiler: she’s not*), so her First Amendment right is to squat alongside the land allotted for crown roads (66’ wide) in Manitoba.
* it’s complicated, but I’m pretty sure a $200 card, not recognized by a Metis nation, doesn’t count.
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His God doesn’t want to spend eternity with him. Neither does Lucifer.
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Obligs:
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Freeform has off an on used very sarcastic disclaimer cards letting viewers know that they have and want nothing to do with whatever is said on 700 club.
Sometimes they’re very mild and objective. Just the standard disclaimer.
Other times they’re definitely backhanded, recommending people go and watch something else until it’s over.
Whenever Pat says something particularly egregious, the disclaimers tend to get sassy.
Disney eased up on the snark for a while but afaik they’re back again. The rumors being that they were trying at the time to get out of the contract stipulation when ff was used to showcase their original content that wasn’t fitting for Disney Channel or ABC, but now that they have Disney+, Hulu, FX, et al, it’s no longer as big a deal anymore.
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You’d think if any company could get out of a contract stipulation it would be Disney. I mean, they do occasionally use their powers for good, so why not this time? Although I will admit that I find those disclaimers amusing and I’m glad to see that.
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Can Pat just get on with meeting his maker already? You’re still on the mortal coil - get to shuffling, you gargoyle.
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This millenarian idea that the Last Days would include an invasion of Israel from the north, typically interpreted as Russia (derived from the word “Rosh” in the book of Ezekiel) is as old as them thar hills.
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This is about the fifth or sixth time he has proclaimed the coming of his invisible friend.
Like Hal Lindsey’s often updated end of the world book “Again? This time for sure!” it gets silly quickly.
I do believe the holy book these dudes swear by prescribes death for false prophets though.
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