Shoulda given it some White Claws.
“He bear-ly got you!”
Well, I know what his tattoo is going to be, and where.
May not need a tattoo; the scrape is probably deep enough to leave a scar. That was a big bear!
Ugh, macho grandstanding bs.
Either that or just pure idiocy (wait, maybe that’s the same thing?).
He’s lucky he got away with just a scratch.
Yeah, he didn’t learn anything from that encounter. Lucky it was almost certainly a garbage bear that’s acclimated to humans.
He should have just left a picnic basket outside the gate.
Y’all need to know: we reach a certain station in life, and we just don’t take any more shite, what can I say.
When I got to Australia, I was told by a weathered local (and this works best in a lazy-voweled Australian drawl) “The leading cause of snake and spider bite is some dopey bastard trying to save the day. Don’t be that bastard.”
Seems like pretty good advice with bears too.
Are you saying this bear whisperer has “reached a certain station in life” at which he just doesn’t take shit from anyone anymore, not even a wild bear?
What station is that? And how do you know this man has arrived at it?
I guess what I’m really asking is,
Nah, I get it. You hit your mid-50s, your kids are grown, your life insurance is paid up, you have no more f*cks left to give. And a black bear is getting in the way of your family BBQ.
FWIW a heckuva lot more people are killed by neighborhood dogs each year than by bears so that wouldn’t necessarily be a good idea either.
Black bears are pretty timid and might make a half-hearted attempt at self-defense but will usually run. Dogs and even cats chase them away all the time.
Grizzly bears will kill you without a second thought.
The bear was clearly vexed…
why do they never get the spelling of ‘Berenstain’ right?
darwin award finalist