Perfectly-sized wool socks that ripen avocados in 24 hours

This is the whitest thing I’ve ever seen.


Natural warmth? It’s wool, not a mammal. It generates no heat. Last I checked, avocados don’t give off appreciable warmth until they’re so ripe they’re composting.


The natural lanolin and warmth of the wool ripens

Warmth? Are avocados warm-blooded, such that they benefit from insulating outer-wear?


Yes, there is.
It’s just that you need a sensor array on par with the one on the LHC to catch it.

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ripe… socks

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Oglaf (often NSFW)


Apparently natural dyes of the old school “I found it down the bog” type stick just fine. But not much else. Basically if it’s not the sort of color you get in Harris or Donegal Tweed you aren’t finding it in an unwashed wool. Earth tones, mostly browns. The wildest it gets is a dark blue or maroon. And a fair bit of the original color of the wool will show through.

Colors on the avocado sock are right but they’re far too consistent for unwashed wool. I doubt there’s any lanolin in that fabric.

And the sheep grease ain’t got nothing to do with insulating properties. Makes the fibers waterproof, that’s about all it adds. There’s a reason we generally remove it.


I can’t help but wonder if the place you suddenly learned about the wonders of avocado socks is the same place that is selling you the avocado socks.


If you want an avocado to eat immediately, at the store, find a ripe-feeling avocado with a stem on. Pull off the stem. If the flesh under it is uniformly green, you’re good. If there are dark speckles, it’s over-ripe and will have gross dark threads throughout the flesh.

However, my personal method is to buy a few of them at varying ripeness and chuck them in the fridge. Refrigerating doesn’t hurt the quality and vastly extends the window of ripeness. If I do it right, I have lovely ripe avocado sandwiches for a week without a problem.


Are you implying that:

Today I learned read a marketing claim that if you can put an avocado in a wool sock, it will ripen faster. I also learned that there’s read it on a press release from a company that makes special avocado-sized wool socks for just this purpose.

Fie on your cynicism. Though one does wonder, if the word “learned” been in inverted commas both times, whether you’d have even needed to ask. :wink:

As a very regular hand-knitted woollen sock wearer, I can testify that lanolin is long gone by the time knittable wool is achieved, as noted by others above, and that if you put an avocado in your sock you cannot get your shoes on.



Dammit, of course someone else already beat me to it.


That’s not the thing. We remove the lanolin, and other waxes/what have, deliberately. You can absolutely opt to get wool with all of that intact. And its perfectly “knittable”. Its considerably harder to dye and work with, and feels a lot coarser. And you can’t wash it with soap/detergent since that’ll remove the coating. But its a thing. Your “real” Aran sweaters are supposed to be made from unwashed wool, as the lanolin and what have renders the garment waterproof. My grandmother spent decades making those damn things, from what she tells me unwashed wool is a beast to work with. Especially since it tends to cut your hands as you go about the business of making a sweater out of it.


…just look at it!

You are a squeezer. A pox upon you. Every squeeze by the uneducated masses results in a bruise then spoilage. Buy 'cados when hard as rocks, let them ripen in warm (70F+ room) for a few days.


Yes, indeed.
Living with someone who sometimes starts with fleeces (cleans, washes, cards, spins, dyes, knits), my socks are all lanolin-free - the same attitude to lanolin-intact wool as your grandmother seems to prevail here, too.


I mean, of course - it’s transparent nonsense, really.
But if it’s “entertaining” people are after, buy my new line of lingerie for avocados!

Sound good in press releases. Makes the outside of the avocado slightly oilier.

But a sock is highly permeable (it’s kind of a design function - we don’t want water vapor trapped in them), unlike a bag. I think it’s safe to say a lot less ethylene is trapped by a sock than a bag. In fact, I suspect very little ethylene is trapped by a sock.

Bananas (just look at them), apples or… avocados. I.e. just put the avocado in a bag, with or without other avocados.


Every Latin American cook I’ve ever met does it the same way. They get parked in a box just big enough to hold however many avocados you’ve got, with the lid closed but not sealed. Maybe a couple of holes punched in the side. The box the avocados ship in whole sale is what’s usually used, unless you’re dealing with less than that amount of avocados. The box gets parked outside in the sun, and they stay there until that shit is borderline moldy. They’ll spin the things as they ripen, since they tend to soften unevenly.


So last week’s model… the new hotness adds organic magnets to the mix

BRB, I’m off to patent some companion mittens that toast your bread!


Not avocados but… can’t find an online version of the whole video but this seems appropriate:

Found an audio transcript, this is the relevant section - enjoy:

Squeezy squeezy… I really must go back and rewatch his shows, sadly I don’t have a VHS player any more and only a couple on DVD.