Polar bears hold Russian scientists hostage on tiny Arctic island


Originally published at: http://boingboing.net/2016/09/14/polar-bears-hold-russian-scien.html


I am relieved that they are sending flares and dogs, not bullets…


They should be sending Putin to wrestle them bars out the way.


maybe they could do a work round by growing some plants and using some
fertiliser (that old school boy prank)


This is scary movie stuff (I mean literally, not the stupid parody franchise).

From the linked article:

[H]e added that the bears would leave the island in search of food in late October or early November

Uh… isn’t “searching for food” what they’re doing right now?


Panic over.


A Russian Scientist driving away a Russian Bear? Is it really a win?


They should just make a run for it. Should only loose one scientist tops.


Didn’t the bears already eat one of the resident dogs?


I can see it now:
Polar bear on the CB radio, impersonating a human: “Send… more… dogs…”
(hat-tip to one of the Living Dead movies, also Gary Larson)


EDIT: I see I’m not the only one who came here to comment about bringing a dog to a bear fight.


In America, you go to mall.
In Putin’s Russia, maul comes to you!


Appropriate Far Side references:


So what would Leonardo Di Caprio do in such a situation?
Simple! Just reach back into your pants and grab a handful of your own shit and smear it all over…and hope that bears don’t like that flavor.



Do the polar bears have a list of demands?


I’m betting that’s a better movie than it is a liquor, but not by much.

  1. No more Coke commercials. They’re humiliating.
  2. No more burning fossil fuels. Our home is shrinking too quickly already.
  3. Free the political prisoners being held in zoos all over the world.


Those demands are just a distraction. Eventually the FSB will show up. When they touch down, the polar bears’ll blow the roof, we’ll spend a month sifting through rubble, and by the time we figure out what went wrong, they’ll be sitting on a beach, earning twenty percent.


Its a disgusting liquor. Like moonshine and candy canes had a stillbirth.