Police: Don't call 911 when you run out of toilet paper

Originally published at: https://boingboing.net/2020/03/16/police-no-more-calling-911-wh.html

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Sea shells were also used.

three-seashells

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https://everything2.com/title/White+House+toilet+paper+crisis

Several hours later, a call did come in, and it did appear to have CIA related talk, and a code name of Olympus was used to summon the President. I had been downstairs that time, hanging out with friends when I learned what was going on. I rush upstairs just in time to hear the tail end of the conversation as I entered the room.

We had the code word that would summon Nixon to the phone.

Almost immediately, another person was starting the process of dialing the number. I stopped them just in time and recommended that they stack at least 4 tandems before looping the call to the White house. Sure enough, the man at the other end said " 9337 ", my other friend said " Olympus please! " The man at the other end said " One moment sir! "… About a minute later, a man that sounded remarkably like Nixon said " What’s going on? " My friend said " We have a crisis here in Los Angeles! " Nixon said " What’s the nature of the crisis? " My friend said in a serious tone of voice " We’re out of toilet paper sir! " Nixon said " WHO IS THIS? "

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True story: I did this to someone a while ago. They came out of the loo looking very disturbed :rofl:

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But what about the toilet paper? Come on Dude, don’t leave us hanging like that!

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Headline is misleading. From Newport Police: “Let’s all take a collective deep breath while maintaining our social distancing practices. It seems our post over the weekend has gone viral. News outlets around the world are sharing our post. However, they are using two different headlines for the story. The first headline is accurate: Police ask people not to call 911 over toilet paper shortage. The other headline is inaccurate: Police ask people to stop calling 911 over toilet paper shortage.
#1 - We have not received numerous 911 calls about people’s lack of TP. Our recent post did not state we had received any such calls. It does state we do not want people to call 911 for their TP shortage. This is being pro-active and preventative, because we know from experience over the years that people tend to call 911 with the weirdest request. It’s just a matter of time before the TP shortage was one of those weird calls.” Nothing to see here, people. Move along.

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There were like five squares left on the roll, so I unravelled them, wrote on the tube, then carefully put the paper back.

There were, of course, spares in the basket - I’m not a monster. But they’re out of direct line of sight, so in that moment the person involved was all “!!!”, as well as “… wait, who wrote that there?!”

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Fun Sponge Alert.

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"Romans used a sea sponge on a stick.

tenor

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Sounds like whoever writes the press releases is right on the edge of stir-crazy from working-from-home.

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But don’t flush those alternatives.

Sure, plumbers might need the work, but they ain’t cheap.

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OK, fixing. Thanks for the heads up!

I just came here to see if the “Pretending-To-Contaminate Ice Cream Isn’t a Crime” Brigade were going to defend a fake 911 call as just calling a phone number as a harmless prank.

Forget 911. Call this number. Easier to remember.

CoolEachEel-small

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A quick look at the Newport Police FB page proves the old adage, “half is quite a bit of wit.”

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Yeah its been two days and I am going nuts but there is probably a month to go and a few months of unemployment after that.

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