Originally published at: https://boingboing.net/2020/01/02/police-nab-carjacking-goatna.html
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Now that’s an interesting sentence to read out of context. 
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Wait. OnStar slowed the vehicle remotely but didn’t turn it off? 
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OK, Oklahoma.
⊙_ʘ
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I guess it is potentially unsafe for them to completely immobilize a moving vehicle in unknown traffic conditions?
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I’m happy the goat is okay… and the guy, too…
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Well they can control the speed of the vehicle so why not just gradually lower it until it comes to a rolling stop? Though i say this aware that i don’t know what is the standard operating procedure is and what is technically feasible. There’s likely a good answer for it, as you posited, i’m just curious about it since it was glossed over in the article.
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Transcript of a phone call from Creek County lockup:
Inmate Kirby: Mom, I need bail money.
Mrs. Kirby: What’d you do this time, you dumbass?
Inmate Kirby: I stole a truck and went on a meth-fueled crime spree across three states with a goat I abducted from a porn store.
Mrs. Kirby: …
Inmate Kirby: Mom? You there, mom?
Mrs. Kirby: … Jesus. You’re just like your father. I shouldn’t have bailed him out, neither.
– call ends –
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If the goat had been underage, would it have been a kidnapping?
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Doe! If the goat had been underage it would have needed a nanny. But why buck a trend?
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One of surprising things to me in this story is that Adult Video Stores are apparently still a thing? Like I thought they all died off 10 years ago thanks to the Internet? Or do these guys live so far out in bumfuck that they have to buy porn like it’s still the 80s?
Could you make a map of areas that are underserved by ISPs simply by finding areas where adult video stores are still thriving?
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We have adult stores in Colorado Springs; not specifically “video” stores per se, and certainly not VHS. But they do sell the toys, outfits, books, and DVDs that you might (or might not) expect. Sex still sells, even in the age of plentiful digital porn.
The goat probably ended up having a better time than he would have if the night had gone according to plan.
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I guess it isn’t only the corn that is as high as an elephant’s eye in Ooooooooooh-klahoma!
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Whenever I hear of Oklahoma, I harken back to the old SNL skit called Wedgie Fever:
OKLAHOMA!!
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The original driver of the pickup…
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Yeah, I was thinking about that (since I have no actual knowledge). Presumably these things work via the engine control unit, so it might be that all they can physically do when the car is running is adjust the fuel injection settings within certain limits. Or perhaps the thinking is that in a car chase, you want the cops to be able to pull the target over in a convenient location, e.g. away from witnesses
They’re actually fun to go to if they’re run well, when i lived in Vegas there was a large two story adult store. I went there a few times for the hell of it with my GF at the time and went once with friends, the vibe there was very friendly and chill. I have been to a couple that were pretty questionable and had a depressing creepy vibe to them so mileage hugely varies on how its operated and what the clients are like.
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A goat…in a truck…in a parking lot…at an adult store? Was the goat wearing lingerie?
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