Bull semen shipments are pretty common around here. They’re in cryogenic tanks though.
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before my mom taught chemistry she was a one of the lab techs who did the testing… oh i heard things. though the best was 2nd hand as her doctor told her she was trying to get up and help with her own endoscopy… valium is good drugs.
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I think “cow feces” is remarkably restrained, actually , and it’s short for “SOME STUPID IDIOT TRIED TO SHIP COW SHIT THROUGH REGULAR MAIL AND WE HAD TO CLEAN IT UP, SO YEH, THAT’S COW FECES ALL OVER YOUR PACKAGE. WELCOME TO MY DAY AND WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE?”
I think that wouldn’t have fit in the given space though.
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Very true! Perversely enough, I kinda wish I’d get a misdelivered package for him just so I can return the favor.
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I once had one of these moronic “put the doormat on a box 2 feet tall” deliveries. Even better - I was home at the time, and they didn’t bother to knock or ring the doorbell. The best bit? They dropped the box directly in front of my door … which has a screen door that opens outwards. Since the box was about 40 pounds, and the cardboard got wedged on an outcrop of cement when I tried to push my door open, the UPS guy effectively trapped me inside my own home! (OK, so I have an attached garage and a back door, but if they’d done this at an apartment it could have been a serious problem.)
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I had a UPS driver who routinely claimed that I wasn’t home when he “tried” to deliver packages, just because he was lazy.
I’ve set up accounts and alerts with FedEx, USPS, and UPS, so I get notified when someone sends me something. I can then arrange for me to pick it up on my terms instead of theirs.
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I worked a coupla years for a bulk delivery service, one that handled the stuff FedEx and UPS didn’t want to touch.
Yes, there are a few hosenozzle drivers out there, but on the whole, most drivers are given a delivery quota that’s simply inhuman. There’s just NOT ENOUGH TIME IN THE DAY.
It’s not the drivers, it’s the managers, and ultimately, the shareholders. In real life, nobody would have missed Tom Hanks all that badly.
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We had a phase when they’d hide the package in the dustbin, which fine as long as it wasn’t bin day.
We were not alone, it seems:
Twitter:
https://twitter.com/search?q=parcel%20in%20bin&src=typd
And from Google image search:
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i always felt that the doormat was not to hide it but to offer some protection from rain
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It doesn’t make sense when the doormat is under an awning already, yet they do this anyway. I think It may be a matter of protocol, and the drivers realizing how ridiculous the protocol is.
If you can’t find a better place to hide the package, leave it under the doormat.
Roger Boss.
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A relative of mine worked in a Ministry of Agriculture lab. They were often sent samples from diseased animals, and part of his job was to bicycle to the post office to collect them. One day, he was told that the post had been put ‘over the drain’; the reason was that one of the samples was an almost-full-term aborted calf foetus, wrapped in a couple of layers of newspaper. When it had been packed, it was still in its amniotic sac- by the time it arrived the sac had burst.
Apparent bovine amniotic fluid is a ‘highly viscous sticky fluid’, with a volume of up to 9 litres.
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I wonder if it being placed under the door mat provides any kind of psychological deterrent, even a very small one,as it’s signifying it’s supposed to be there, and belongs to the householder.
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From another image posted somewhere else, the instructions for the delivery were most likely “place under the welcome mat”.
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I kind of think that the box drenched in blood is a bit more disturbing 
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Or perhaps euphemistic?
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Have you never bought a cow on e-bay?
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Well you see…
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Rain falls down and runs off doormat.
Mostly dry package. When it gets to be heavy rain they switch to large clear plastic bags.
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