Prosecutors: George Santos stole puppies from the Amish

Originally published at: Prosecutors: George Santos stole puppies from the Amish | Boing Boing

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I fully expect to hear next that he also stampeded cattle through the Vatican.

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I see a title like this and my first thought is “Is this a joke? Is Boing Boing reposting from The Onion?” but no, this guy really does live down to any level. He cannot be satired because any satire is going to be less bad and absurd than the truth.

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In other news, a number of comic-book supervillains have called for Santos to be struck from the Register of Evildoers for “inappropriate conduct”. “Frankly, he’s bringing the entire profession into disrepute,” said genocidal tyrant Kothos of Mars. “Casting entire civilizations into the sun, or mutilating children on a whim – who hasn’t done that? But once you start with puppy-stealing, you’ve crossed a line and entered a very dark place. As respectable villains, we have no choice but to distance ourselves from this heinous offender immediately, to avoid any perception that we might endorse or even encourage his reprehensible antics.”

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“He told me he went to Forest Hills high school,” she said. “I said you don’t go there. I did. I learned now he never stepped foot in any other learning institution. He got his GED and that was the end of learning for Anthony Devolder.”

Good. Give that college placement to someone who gives a shit.

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She says Santos asked for advice after claiming his checkbook was stolen.

Stolen…

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Having watched the linked news report, I’m puzzled what the “Amish” connection is supposed to be, since no one mentions them, just “puppy breeders in Pennsylvania”. (Do the Amish somehow have a monopoly on breeding puppies in that state?)

Some communities bank on certain specialties. For decades, the Amish in Yoder, Kansas have been known for their awesome preservative-free baked goods, like cinnamon rolls.

Of course, it could also be a nod to ripping off “honest folk”.

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Lex Luthor is innocent! No one was looking and no one suspected George Santos.

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He’s a puppy thief too? I guess that helps explain why MTG is the only one left in D.C. who is still willing to speak up in his defense.

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Yep, you’re right. It can’t be done.

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My wife wants to know: why is nobody commenting on his “clerical collar” priestly costume of his everyday dress?

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The article says the exact percentage of puppy mills that are Amish owned is unknown, but there are a lot of them in Amish populated areas in PA and other states.

Anecdotally I have seen a lot of Amish backyard breeders among the Amish in Northern Indiana, mostly small scale but still very sad conditions: small kennels or cages and little to no socialization with humans or other dogs. The breeding dogs were livestock, not pets, receiving the minimum of care needed to produce puppies.

That said, puppy mills and the attitude toward animals that they require are not unique to the Amish. Even so-called reputable breeders are overbreeding and breeding for the “breed standard” that is not about a healthy dog (see all the brachiocephalic breeds for example). So it’s all a dirty business.

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Does the article mention what he did with the puppies? Otherwise I assume this is the answer.

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No dog is safe from the gqp: Soros steals 'em, boebert shoots 'em, and mad madge skins the corpses.

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I think I have the Dictionary this illustration is from.

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I have no sympathy for any Amish puppy mill that gets ripped off but, yeah, Santos is still a buffoon and a charlatan.

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Give this guy a camera. His life is gold material for Netflix.

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There are several news stories that specifically refer to the breeders as being Amish, or at least people that live in areas where people are mainly Amish.

Did George Santos Rip Off Amish Dog Breeder With Bad Checks? Did George Santos Rip Off Amish Dog Breeder With Bad Checks?

They’re not on facebook, they often don’t have access to phones, they may not want to talk with police, so it’s not surprising a criminal would target them.

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“Stealing puppies from the Amish” just had a level of cartoon villainy to it that requires Zan, Jana, and Gleek to jump into action…

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