Putin grants Russian citizenship to Steven Seagal


#1

Originally published at: http://boingboing.net/2016/11/03/putin-grants-russian-citizensh.html


#2

Probably not coincidentally: the Russian-made World of Warships is now offering Steven Seagal as a special prize captain in the game.

Seriously.


#3

Also, the similarities between Aikido and Systema are interesting enough to warrant this decision by Putin.


#4

Thanks Putin!


#5

That movie title generator is quite fun, although they could use a little refresh:


#6

Does anyone know him?

I really want to ask if he will give me one of his Katanas when he dies. He has quite a collection.


#7

Russia’s loss is our gain.


#8

Putin is building a ninja army


#9

This is highly suspicious.

My guess is he’s an undercover operative working for the CIA who’s there to extract Snowden in an extreme fashion. However I think he’ll quickly bond with the mistreated local ethnic population that’s harboring Snowden and he’ll soon realize who the bad guys really are. He’ll then convince his bosses at the CIA that they’ve been manipulated and corrupted for decades by the NSA. Finally he’ll single-handedly take out the NSA in a spectacular assault on their headquarters and once they’re eliminated the CIA will be able to return to its wholesome roots.

Or something along those lines.


#10

I’ve got a question. Who is the audience for 21st-century Steven Seagal movies?

I mean, his 1990s movie weren’t all that great, and probably peaked with Under Siege (1992) and Under Siege 2 (1995).

But they were at least reasonable approximations of action movies.

The current, 2010+ direct-to-video ones I see on my cable’s previews, he doesn’t seem to even make any pretense of being capable of martial arts, he just seems like a kinda overweight guy in a jacket who fires guns.

Who’s the audience? Russians, I guess.


#11

In my 20’s I had a pony tail until one day in a home depot a very nice elderly couple approached me to say I looked like a young Steven Seagal as the biggest compliment they could bestow on anyone. I went straight home and cut it off. it was time anyway. :-\


#12

I had mine for longer, but no one ever said that.

I did tell Adrian Paul, who inspired me to grow one, that he inspired me to grow one.


#13

I started growing it out right after High school and then cut it off right after college. Transitions. it would of happened any way. The couple just gave me a bump to do it it sooner.


#14

This is nothing. Do not worry about this.

When Russia gives citizenship to Chuck Norris, that will be something.


#15

Seems appropriate to me - Segal and Putin are a good match.

I look forward to some really terrible movies now! The ones he’s been making lately will be tough to beat for terrible, but I have faith in Russian creativity and tenacity.


#16

He was recently in a horribly wondrous advertisement for a battleship MMO:

… and is apparently featured in the game somehow, too.

He seems to always have an Uncanny Valley Effect generator on his person. So weird! Also apparently a thoroughly repugnant personality.


#17

Later, Steven…


#18

#19

He’s been in 25 films in the past 10 years. He may be a terrible actor (and musician), but you can’t say he’s not a hard worker.


#20

Danny Trejo was in 17 movies and 3 TV series just this year.