Remember the time a Cabbage Patch doll chewed a girl's hair up to her scalp and would not let go? Here's a video

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Originally published at: Remember the time a Cabbage Patch doll chewed a girl's hair up to her scalp and would not let go? Here's a video | Boing Boing

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Oh My! That reminds me of…

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My mother during that time period: “That’s what happens when you give dolls demon’s names!”

I just remember that the big plastic head was useful for fighting my brother. Swung from their legs, they made a decent club.

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According to the news report, “Mattel says they’ve had fewer than 10 reported incidents.”

…with that particular doll.

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“Normally the food goes right into the doll’s backpack.”

Is that what they called colostomy bags back then?

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No, but I think mine was named “Ace”.

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We had such amazingly crazy toys then. Remember the Barbie doll with the skates that could light things on fire?

If not, here’s a Dave Barry version of a write up on it, which is more fun than the news version.

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Golden State Warriors Lol GIF by NBA

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Now with the Chuck-etts!

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Look, the name of the doll model is clearly “Snacktime Kids”. They just didn’t go the extra step to specify it’s your Kid that is the Snack.

4 out of 5 stars. Could use clarification, but works as advertised.

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And the others?

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Many of the best toys that I had as a child were essentially a hot plate.

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I remember having a chemistry set with many vials of…chemicals. And I would mix them all the time, completely unsupervised. And then the woodburning kit with the 3 inch cord.

And I only set the house on fire once!

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So the parents put the batteries in the thing. Why didn’t they just take them out?

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scary-doll-barbarella1

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I think by the time it had clamped on, they probably did and still could not loosen the grip the thing had on the girl.

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According to the news report, “Mattel says they’ve had fewer than 10 reported incidents.”

I’d like more context for this quote. Did they sound disappointed?

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Remember them, hell, I was out there in the driveway lighting pieces of toilet paper on fire.

But then the damn Karenmoms said I was setting a bad example for my girls.