Remove All Excrement From Pets Pursuant

Came fire, driver shut, and children shut are all understandable, but what does quart mean?

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Quad? :confused:

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Sorry Fido, rules are rules…

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Before it’s removed would it be increment?

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Lawyers can write. I have no idea what legislators are up to though.

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Are they intending the message as “Remove All Excrement From Pets ‘who are’ Pursuant”?

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That one’s beautifully bad. There are so many conventions and rules violated there, it’s like it was going for a medal or something. The added awkwardness of writing “one foot” as 1′-0′′(12′′) was a nice touch.

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“When spambots write signs” is more like it.

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My guess was “. Pursuant to bylaw #122

Look for future stage direction. “Exit, pursued by very angry pets.”

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Where do they think this is? Bethselamin?

Haha, prunes work well on my pet.

Must be the work of Markoff Chaney

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Not exactly the same, but reminds me of this.

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What about pets rampant? Or accroupi?

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You need “The Evacuator 5000!”

“The Evacuator 5000 removes pet soil before it soils! Internal evacuation is our guarantee!”

“No pet poops on the rug, for the poops are removed ‘In-intestine’!”

“Just attach this piping to your critter, and voila, no more poops!”

“The ‘In-intestine’ connector is fool-proof, and any new pet-owner can connect with ease!”

“Try the Evacuator 5000, and see no critter poops ever, or your money back!*”

*critters may die horribly, but ‘No Poops!’ Not available in any state with heart.

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I do much of my work in the proper bush, but we also do some work in bush-like sections of urban parks.

In any park in which there is a pathway that starts in view of the street, but then winds into privacy: at the point at which the path leaves public view, there will always be a cache of plastic bags full of dogshit.

People suck.

(less depressingly, we also have a tradition of making a wish on the first bong we find each day…)

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It’s not a pursuant! It’s a satchel!

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A lot of these swankier places don’t have garbage cans in the area to throw away your poop bags, so you either have to carry it around with you the whole time, then get in your car (if it’s a park far away) and carry it all the way home.

OK, so get a cat.

Problem solved.

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Around here they put up small garbage cans specifically for dog shit, often with a plastic bag dispenser in case you forgot to bring one. It’s not even “swanky,” just an inexpensive way for the Parks Department or a housing development to keep the grounds cleaner.

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