Remove All Excrement From Pets Pursuant


Originally published at:


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How? Squeeze them? Roll them like a tube of toothpaste? I don’t think either method works and is unpleasant to the animal.


Oh, those methods work!

… uhm… so I hear.


Wet/dry vac.



Wow. Nonsensical syntax, and even a lexical error - ‘pursuant’ is, of course, misspelt. Would a non-predator kept as a pet be exempt because it doesn’t pursue anything, or do other pursuits count as well?


This article is taking the piss out of me!


I’ve noticed there are people who will pick up and bag their dog’s poop, particularly if they know someone else could be watching, but then farther down the street they will surreptitiously drop the baggie in the street near the curb. So I step out of my car and have to watch for little “poop land mines” that break open like a mustard packet when you step on them.


I once had brought one of my cats to the vet, but didn’t have a fecal sample to go with her. One gloved finger and a little poking and prodding later and voilà!

There are ways…


When people with law degrees write signs.


If it’s removed from the pet then it can’t be excrement. Right?! This kind of logic can rip open the time-space continuum.


Still my favorite in-the-wild sign, found just off the PCT at a…cheap camping site just south of Tehachapi, CA:

And while I’m a fan of “off rode vetches”, I did not see any the night I spent at the Robins Nest Resort.


Thank you for your corporation.



Something about never end a sentence a preposition with.


But drinking and driving over the age of 21 is perfectly fine…


Shitty screencap of a photo I took in Miami some years ago–this was just outside one of Art Basel’s tent-jobs. Opposite curb was filled with Escalades and such.

Taken somewhere in Miami’s Design District, late 2006.

Used to have some funny images of english-language signs in Japan that were hilariously mangled/mistranslated. “Thank you for not smorking” was a favorite.


given the rest of the sign I think they meant that you’re not supposed to drink anyone under the age of 21 or drive them.

This is useful information for vampires and evil racers from Stephen King type realities - which interestingly enough recent events featured prominently in the news have shown that we are indeed living in a Stephen King reality, so if you don’t want to be driven - keep out of Tehachapi, CA.


Finally, a neighborhood where persons are willing to remove the excrement from my pets pursuant.


You shut be more understanding.