Report: U.S. said to be planning “proportional response” to Sony Hack, to be blamed on North Korea

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I’d suggest hacking into North Korean television and forcing it to play nothing but The Interview on continuous loop.

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Patient waiting for the final line of the scene pays off. “Staines, get Premier Kissoff on the Hot-line.”.

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The Alamo Drafthouse cancelling the showing of Team America was not the theater “wussing out”. They haven’t released a full statement to confirm, but it very much seems like, as in the case of the Capitol Theatre, Paramount is forbidding distribution. Everything I’ve heard about the Drafthouse tells me that they were absolutely going to show the film.

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Financial sanctions? North Korea is already broke and isolated, what’s left to sanction? Oh, I know! No more Sony films for them!

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Proportional response? We’re going to humiliate one of their titans of film?

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Hey! North Korea does too have a film industry!

The Producer from hell

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Nah, I think a more proportionate response would be to mess with the memory of N. Korea’s most prolific movie producer:

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Last I knew Sony was a Japanese company.

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Wired points out that is nothing like a state-sponsored hack. The US might just be seizing an opportunity to do ill. At this point, I find it strange that US ‘intelligence officials’ are treated as if they have any credibility whatsoever.

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What could possibly go wrong. :scream:

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Was it Franco, or Rogan, that made the deal with the devil when Freaks and Geeks launched?

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Since Sony themselves have a history of installing root kits on their customers computers, all I can do is point, laugh, and offer a hearty “Well done!” to the culprits, whoever they may be.

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I’m not exactly sure why the US would need ‘opportunity’. It’d take rather a lot more than the Sony hack to really shake up the Korean DMZ scene; but if you just want to do some sabre rattling, futzing with sanctions, or deniable intelligence wankery, you don’t really need any excuse, that’s just everyday stuff.

Awaiting Sony corporate announcement of name change to Franz Ferdinand Pictures.

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What are we going to do? Hack their non-existent supplies of rice?

It would be easier to target NK if there was something to target. As it stands, the North Korean guards at the DMZ are actually specifically required to be well-fed. What do you get for the man who has everything, and what can you take from the man has nothing? I’m not saying the United States should do absolutely nothing about its citizens being intimidated, but I’m skeptical that there’s much left that can be done short of walking across the DMZ.

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I find the invocation of “proportionality” a bit vexing as anything above and beyond doing nothing at all is probably a complete overreaction.

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Rather than going after North Korea, I’d rather see the government tell Sony/Paramount to nut the fuck up and show the movies. I have zero interest in them personally, but letting rogue states dictate global film distribution sets a godawful precedent.

North Korea threatens to burn down the world on a biweekly basis. They never actually do anything, because if they did, they’d be the world’s biggest parking lot by next Tuesday. I’m not saying they can’t be pushed over the edge, but after everything that’s slid by so far, I seriously doubt that a stupid movie will be the thing that does it.

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If what is, at worst, corporate espionage demands a proportionate response, I wonder what kind of response the Stuxnet virus’s targeting of government facilities deserves?

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It’s a dumb movie and no one cares about Sony’s emails. Get over it.