Reporter who does not like to be touched meets man who likes to touch reporters


Originally published at:


I’m trying to imagine what this is going to be like before I watch the video.


The link in this article points to the memory hole.



I choose 3!

In the meantime

If someone puts their hand on you after being told not to, break the hand.

I, however, would have picked this guy up into a huge, smiling, cajoling “Oh you!” bear-hug about 5 minutes after ignoring every bad-hand after the first. OK, so I would probably just have put my arm around him and walked around with him. But still, you can elevate passive-aggressive behaviour like this really easily, the other person has given you the go ahead.

In these circumstances the touchy gent appears to be attempting to disrupt the reporting team but I’m sure that the introduction of unwanted physical contact by Mr. Touchy opens up many possibilities without transgressing any laws.


Sounds fair to me, but I hate that sort of shit and handle it badly. Reporter dude has mad patience there.


I should say, don’t be afraid to break the hand, just know that they deserve it.

I actually think the reporter could have been more passive in his (slightly) aggressive interactions with the man. The con still worked and duder got to cancel the meeting. That’s why I’m interested in antitheses to this kind of behaviour that leverage the behavioural door opened by the initiating party.

Someone on reddit suggested the reporter could have just patted the dude lightly on the head, or placed his hand on Touchy’s head every time he went for the shoulder.

There there, little guy.


:slight_smile: I doubt I would, TBH. Swearing loudly, panicking and G-ingTFO of there is much more my style.

Dunno how good wristlocks and armbars are in the real world. :slight_smile:
Maybe pinching Mr. TouchyFeely’s chubby little cheeks, a ruffle of the hair, a playful headlock and some friendly noogies?


Done properly they are extremely effective. But small joint manipulation is the most immediately responded to. Bend the finger. I should say. Bend their finger.

I think ruffling the hair is the only one in that list that doesn’t give him an excuse to cry assault and stop the meeting. We’re engaging with him :wink: , on his terms, touchy as they are.

I was thinking that the first face to face hand-on-shoulder gave the reporter the opportunity to stop, stare deeply into Touchy’s eyes, smile widely, go to put his own hand on Touchy’s shoulder but change it up at the last second into a big hug. The reporter is way taller. He could then pick him up, turn around and then put him down out of the way.


All I know is, outside of a handshake, I’m extremely uncomfortable with touching strangers, and being touched by them. I don’t know how I’d react, but I’m sure in the end there would be a lot of me yelling at the guy.

“Are you my mother, father, or brother? Are you one of my best friends? Then get your fucking hands off me. Bad things are going to happen if you keep it up.”


That’s the trouble right there in the clip. When the dude touched him after he said he’d call the police, he should have called the police.

Don’t make idle threats. People will think you’re dishonest or a pushover.


He may have called the police afterwards.


Mr. Touchy McFeely seems like he’d be totally incapable of picking up on cues conveyed to him via bullhorn. He also doesn’t seem to grasp the concept of a public meeting. I’ve rarely seen someone so ill-suited for the position of “communications director.”


Given the video (and the clear, clumsy manipulation by Mr Touchy and the town officials), I’d be calling the police and demanded to press charges. He’s been very clear about not being touched, and dickface had carried on (with the clear intend to pushing the reporter to escalate).
So, what do we have: video tape of repeated assault. Fuckface Mc Touchy wants escalation? Lawyer up, asshole, cause here it comes.


Had i been the reporter i would’ve sat down in one of the seats at the townhall, it would’ve limited the space around him that the touchy guy could’ve used. Then prohibit him from sitting nearby, if he decides to continue invading his personal space at that point it he would really need to be trying. Call the cops then.

Or just call the cops. I kind of doubt that much would come of it had it escalated to that point and any subsequent action would’ve had to take place in court if the reporter really wanted to stick it to the guy… which i think is a level of escalation the reporter did not want to take.


A properly executed wrist lock takedown is very quick and leaves no lasting damage.


It might be a bit of a stretch, but technically the guy committed simple battery under CA criminal law. The first couple of touches probably wouldn’t have triggered the law, but after the reporter objected, I’d bet it would’ve been worth a call to the cops and an initial charge (if not indictment).


Flashback to Banzai.


I don’t know legally, but a physical escalation seems warranted after the 43 second mark after the reporter has already said hands off repeatedly and already brushed his hand off. That said, maybe that’s what the communications director wanted since he was obviously looking for an excuse to cancel the meeting and get the nosy reporter out of there. The reporter also probably didn’t want to lose his job, even if he was in the right.

This seems like a maneuver the communications director learned at a douchey seminar about how to manipulate people and control situations.


… and everyone agrees. Why not whip out your assault rifle and blow his head off? And I wonder why the US has a violence problem…

Sure call the police - but breaking his hand for touching your shoulder? I know what a judge would say over here when sentencing you for breaking his hand: “Did you really think that was proportionate response?”


How has that männchen the impertinence to wipe his hyperhidrosic palms on the relative silverback in the room?
The reporter shows remarkable restraint. I have much lower tolerance to assault.
(I barely managed to wrestle away the keyboard from my inner internet tough guy.)


Suppose the reporter had been a woman.


He had the reach - reporter puts hand on Marks face and keeps him at arms length. Fingers in eye, up nostril, in ears, all fair game at that point. Back him up till he trips over a chair, trip him as he try to get up while appearing helpful. Etc.