Republican thought leaders Tyson and Carlson discuss the true nature of time, space, and misogyny

Originally published at: Republican thought leaders Tyson and Carlson discuss the true nature of time, space, and misogyny | Boing Boing

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Almost what I imagine two supermax prison inmates might banter about while sitting side by side on cold stainless steel toilets.

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I am picturing 2 stoned HS sophomores hanging out “thinking deep thoughts.” Which are, of course, stupid gibberish. But if you are that ignorant, it feels deep.

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wut??

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I’ll go further, wut thu fuq?!

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mal nonplussed

It’s astounding just how… weird?.. the conservative talk circuit has become. Far less William Buckley, far more Jerry Springer. I suspect Tucker will soon have opposing guests brawling on his show.

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Rumble in the Woodshed.

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Imagine if Tucker starred in the sequel “Geraldo 2: Nosebreak Bugaloo”!

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image

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The third word of the Bible is “beginning”, which implies that time exists.

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I keep getting reminded of this bit from “Schroedinger’s Cat” by Robert Anton Wilson:

“‘God’ was their [humans’] name for the hypothetical biggest Alpha-Male-Of-All. Being primates, they could not comprehend how anything could run if there weren’t an alpha male in charge of it.”

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“It (god) created eternity”
Mike Tyson

I’m pretty impressed, he essentially made a statement and a contrary statement all within three words!

Keanu Reeves Reaction GIF

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See, this is why we have the liberal arts, to answer these tough questions.

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Tucker Carlson finally gets a chance to feel smart.

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that son of a fucking… [tv dinner] has always felt that he was the smartest in the room.

Narrator: he was not.

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Move over Jack Handey, these are the new deep thought leaders.

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“I don’t know if his name is really God, Allah,” Tyson remarked. “Who is the first guy that started my bloodline? How did that happen? Was it a dinosaur? Was it one of those aliens that they say were around a couple of million years ago? Who was it?”

They sound like stoners- 10-year-old stoners.

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Ah, I gotta go change the…the vagina on a chip is saying it’s been drying forever, I just have to freshen the gestalt. [Side-eyes it.]

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We need these postural thought-leaders to make the next chair abuse revolution and stir-fry the pinched nerve staple of discourse.
While hot sauce quietly circulates into the situation, please. Maybe as randomly alcohol-free lager with mescal (it isn’t mescal.)
Also casually mix in aversion therapy if they get a dog whistle out…[doesn’t get the phrase.]
Every episode they test an earthquake bed at the end. Let me just have this Xi Jinping, testing south of Szechuan.

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Shittiest remake of the Shawshank Redemption ever.

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