Reverend says his "spit or swallow" sign was not a sexual reference

So, God gave him a happy ending!

10 Likes

Regular, well-intentioned Christians can be fairly oblivious to the crassness of the culture…especially when it involves naughty inuendos.

My favorite around here was the church ladies group that was sponsoring a May-day tea for moms, grandmoms, professional women, students, and young girls. All fine and dandy…except the promotional flyer and website had nice pictures of pretty little girls and college women all looking beguilingly at the viewer while surrounding the bold line “We’re having a pole dance…” Obviously meaning a May-pole dance…

Innocent enough…but NONE of the ladies had a clue until word got around that the promos had been re-posted widely in the high-school, VFW post, sport team locker rooms…and local online chat boards, of course. Even the local paper had a chuckle over it.

To their great and wonderful credit, the clueless ladies found it hilarious…even to the point of explaining the humor to the nice old grandmas…who seemed to think it really made the event an extra good time.

A good laugh, courtesy of The Lord and naivete.

9 Likes

Perhaps a sermon best left to Reverend Tammy

1 Like

While markedly less overt than the other option; the May-pole has its share of “Well, what associations did you expect from a pagan springtime festival with a thin christian veneer?” associations. Not a huge surprise given that pretty much all the spring-ish events seem to collect fertility-related baggage; and anything that would have historically allowed communal mingling rather than mud farming would have been significant to peasant dating activities; but it is there.

7 Likes

You’re no fun! Sometimes a May-Pole is …uh…just a pole…

3 Likes

That’s actually only one of the interpretations(all somewhat hazy and speculative), which makes the May pole way more innocent than the Jesse Tree; which is approved-as-in-we-installed-stained-glass-in-our-expensive-cathedral; despite being a giant genealogy diagram phallus.

4 Likes

Noooooooooo! 6 years as an altar boy decades ago… and the flashbacks are starting again…

Thanks a lot…

1 Like

I’m sure you remember this classic:

“I wanna get on my knees and start pleasing Jesus, I wanna feel his salvation all over my face.”

*edited to add Mr. Cartman.

9 Likes

Did they spit or swallow?

1 Like

GET BEHIND ME SATAN!  

12 Likes

I’m not sure, but their post definitely did come first. At least it wasn’t premature.

immature? I don’t know what you’re talking about!

7 Likes

When I was teaching (many years ago) we had a 14 year old male pupil who became distracted, his work fell off and he seemed to be in something of a dream. His parents were mystified and talked about consulting a child psychologist. But his English teacher just talked to him one break, and then phoned the parents.As he recounted it, what he had said was
"He’s perfectly all right, I just explained to him that when you’re 14 it’s perfectly normal to think about sex all the time. I’ve done him a reading list to help deal with the things he’s worrying about."

10 Likes

I see wut u did there! :stuck_out_tongue:

4 Likes

She might have been married to a piece of shit, but Tammy Faye showed love to people with AIDS when most of the country was freaking the fuck out with hatefulness and fear. She might have been a teevee preacher, but she was OK in my book. Actually, she’s the only one I can think of who I had any respect for at all, and it was down to her compassion toward sick people.

15 Likes

That documentary The Eyes of Tammy Faye gave me a much more sympathetic view of her, but holy cow she was still pretty clueless on how deeply her church’s wheeling and dealing was hurting the poor people they were fleecing for cash.

15 Likes

To the eyes of the innocent, all things are innocent.
Or this guy is a perv.

2 Likes

Does it produce… MayPole Syrup?

6 Likes

Guy named Walking passed a church? You passed a church while walking (ouch)?

1 Like

it was just a gag to try and get more people to come on sundays.

the sign for his homeless theater group in the evenings is just as bad:
“bum play, please use rear entrance”

1 Like

jesus loves the little children, all the children of the world!