Rules for Bible class


Originally published at:


I thought we already decided this was fake when we saw the McDonalds version, the Walmart version, and the local drug store version.

  • Throwing stones shall be no larger than a golf ball.


Are there any women here?


“Anything Secular”?


I liked that one too. Way to make it relatable.


And I agree with all these rules. There is NOTHING wrong with kids having their own words, phrases, languages. We ALL had them growing up no matter what age we are.

HOWEVER, there were always distinctions between the various parts of our lives and the levels of formality given. We knew that with friends we spoke one way and with adults we spoke another. And the outcasts were always the ones that couldn’t code switch. And most of this came from parents who though the informal was good enough and the formal was for ‘other people’.

So Bible School? If you believe in this sort of nonsense, it should be the MOST formal you will ever have in your life. Why not start there.


“Nah” is out, but “Naw” is OK. AmIright?


Right-O there, Guv.


Fool (unless we are reading the Bible)

The jokes just write themselves.


That person really hates Felicia.


Chri—, oh, you know…


“throwed rolls”



Nothing will be on fleek.

ESPECIALLY this Bible class.


I was slightly amazed to learn that “on fleek” is actually a thing outside of the list-creator’s head.


Come on, the first rule of Bible class is that no one talks about Bible class…


If this is your first bible class, you have to tithe.


If someone speaks in tongues or goes limp, the match is over.


ThreeOne God at a time