Rules of the Bozo Boosters


#1

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#2

New York City had its own bozo, with an elaborate set and full cast. I was a faithful watcher as a little tyke. My friend down the street got to be in the studio audience, which made me very jealous. I spotted him in the bleachers, helping bat around a giant balloon that Bozo had tossed up there.

When I was seven we went on a family trip to Arkansas. (I can tell you within a few days when this happened; Apollo 11 took off when we were down there.) One morning my aunt Dixie cheerily asked if we wanted to watch Bozo. Well, sure thing! My sister and cousins and I gathered around their (COLOR!) TV and settled down to . . .

. . . wait, that wasn’t Bozo! I mean, it looked like Bozo, and there was the Professor and the Ringmaster, but the set was very sparse and Bozo didn’t sound right.

For a kid, that was very freaky.


#3

What happens if rule 2 conflicts with rule 1?


#4

arsenic


#5

I was very disappointed to discover just now that the “Cram it Clownie / That’s a Bozo No No” episode was urban myth. Dumb Internet, you didn’t need to rain on my clown parade.

Hwah, hwah, hwah, hwawawawahhhhhhh . . .


#6

Seems like this was the inspiration for a bit on Ren and Stimpy:

“I do hereby promise only to watch the Ren & Stimpy show,
to make under-leg noises during the good scenes,
to wear unwashed lederhosen every single day of
the rest of my life.”


#7

Bozo’s got nothing on Gene Autry or Tom Mix.

Number 5 on Autry’s Cowboy Code, circa 1948. A cowboy “must not advocate or possess racially or religiously intolerant ideas.”
http://www.geneautry.com/geneautry/geneautry_cowboycode.html

Compare with The Ralston Straight Shooters Pledge of Allegiance of Tom Mix below. On the one hand, he has kids pledging to eat “the Official Straight Shooters cereal” to help build a stronger America. Ugh. On the other hand, at least Tom Mix prefaces it by advising kids to “Read Pledge carefully so you fully understand it. Then take Pledge by reading it aloud in the presence of your father or mother.” What an alien concept, asking kids to read and understand it first. It would have been nice if our teachers had given us that much respect before they ordered us to mindlessly recite the actual Pledge of Allegiance.
http://www.phantomranch.net/bwestern/creeds.htm


#8

Because when you put on the nose it grows on you.

(what’s the reference?)


#9

So funny! Similar thing happened to me. I lived near Omaha, watched Bozo every single day. One day, my mom went to visit a friend. They told us her husband was THE Bozo. I was so excited! Got there, there’s this middle-aged, pot-gutted, half-dressed guy with a Schlitz flopped out on a recliner. AND he was a grouchy obnoxious jerk! Better Santa the Hut, really.

Then we moved, and I found out he was only A Bozo, lol. Except clowns totally creep me out now…


#10

Watch TV? Are you mad? Lost me at rule 1.


#11

Would Bozo steer you wrong? Have you no gratitude?

Monster.


#12

It looks like the original TV production was in LA, so your NYC clown and mine from Chicago were, like this Arkansas performer, really just faux-zos.


#13

It’s almost like the Laws of Robotics. But clowns.


#14

A friend of mine appeared on the Bozo show, which is the only time I can remember watching it. I preferred the truly local Sir Cecil Creape, although later my hero would be Commander USA. It still irks me that I just missed meeting him in person. He was in a cable TV booth at the annual downtown urban renewal festival the one year I chose not to go.

I still have my Commander USA fan club card, though, and have tried to remain faithful to the promise to be an all-around good guy forever. Sure!


#15

Why were they called “Boosters”?


#16

That that reminds me of the first time I went to a neighbors house to watch the Incredible Hulk on a color TV.

HE WAS GREEN!!! AAAAHHHHH!!


#17

“Booster” is a variant of “fan.” A supporter / promoter.


#18

Gotchya. I just kept thinking of child booster seats.


#19

That’s actually kind of fitting, although it was the kids who were propping up Bozo rather than the other way around.


#20

I got to play the Grand Prize Game on the WGN Bozo Show during Bob Bell’s last year as Bozo. I was scared out of my mind and only made it to Bucket 3. Got some good Archway cookies and a bike lock out of it, though.