Lawnmower always wins.
9 Likes
So with the droughts in the US, this is going to become a complete non issue right?
Iāll never be able to look at those military/spook patches and logos featuring the grim reaper without thinking ālandscaperā.
2 Likes
Itās not really a sensible comparison. Who uses a strimmer to cut their lawn? Compare instead the guy thatās spent ten years learning to scythe and a numptie with a lawnmower.
Reminds me of DEATH vs. the combination harvester in Reaperman.
Or, rather than cutting it, just get a sheep or goat and let them graze.
That way youāre not expending energy on keeping the grass cut, and you have the main ingredient for a nice curry at the end of the year.
2 Likes
I believe Mario is going to kick Luigiās ass for losing/selling the lawnmower for drug money.
Completely and utterly agreed. Nothing like waking up to a beautiful Saturday morning and going outside only to be walloped by the cacophony of poorly tuned small engines pushing poorly maintained cutting blades and surfaces. They sling rocks, they smell bad, and they needlessly pollute my listening environment.
Well said. A lawn of nothing but grass, to me, is a total waste of space. Given a living canvas, so many people choose to grow the McDonalds cheeseburger of the plant worldāgrassāinstead of doing any number of creative things with the same space.
Oh, I know, I know. Weāre all so busy making ends meet that who has time to go get dirty in the yardā¦besides, thereās a new episode of The Kardashian$ on the tubeā¦
At the very least, the English have fucked up some nice stuff (shrimp flavored chips? Coloured? Driving on the left? WTF?), but their cottage gardens are entirely badass.
TENSION
No tension. Math, yo.
1 Like
The Austrian scythe is optimized for mowing at the expense of weapon-like qualities. However in many conflicts in Central or Eastern Europe, slightly less modern styles of scythes were quickly re-forged into polearms.
3 Likes
So with the droughts in the US, this is going to become a complete non issue right?
Donāt I wish. I think there are people around me that would be out mowing their lawns after the zombie apocalypse.
2 Likes
The tools of the workers are always inspiring, comrade.
4 Likes
Heāll take care of that right after he finishes modding all these plowshares into swords and pruning hooks into spears.
@KarlS @Drew_G @AnonyMouse Iām sure there are ways to reattach or realign the blade to make it more deadly. In my understanding it wasnāt unheard of to attack other kinds of large domestic cutlery to a stick and call it a polearm of one sort or another. At that point in my mind it stops being the original implement and becomes something else though.
Plus a kitchen knife or cleaver seems like itād be pretty easy to stab at close range with on itās own. Sticking it on a pole just adds reach and maybe some leverage.
By comparison, a scythe set for mowing seems cumbersome to cut with unless your opponent stands still and lets you stride past them. Stabbing with the tip seems similarly tricky, especially if the opponent steps closer to you, and likely to get the blade stuck in them if you succeed.
@Old No, they didnāt make me wear that sort of thing for safety. The cloak and hood were just for fun.
1 Like
Interesting snath on that scythe.
The guyās technique is very good, but heās a little out of shape, you can see him strike dirt a couple times as he wears out.
@peterk, polearms made from farm and household implements are legion. They run the gamut from butcher-knife-tied-to-a-stick to completely reforged weapons that have nothing in common with the original tool other than the steel itself. Technique was probably equally variable, especially since the people using these implements would not be from the warrior classes.
The billhook was probably much more common than the scythe and long handled versions were often used in medieval battles. The billhook was probably the ancestor of the other pole weapons. On difficult terrain the billhook could retain an advantage over long pikes.
1 Like
That looks like the fabled clam-poon of the famous Reuben Clamso!
Hooky weapons - scythes, bills, warhammers, lochaber axes, etc. - are great for pulling armored cavalry off their horsesā¦ then dozens of unarmored peasants with crappy little belt knives can bee-swarm them. A terrifying fate for a landed nobleman, since peasants were unlikely to save him for ransom.
4 Likes
When I was a teenager, my mother assigned my brother and I the task of cutting the dried grass on a 3/4 acre lawn. She couldnāt afford to rent two weed whackers, so she rented two scythes. Our interest turned to disappointment once we actually tried to use the damn things. Our amateur technique left us sweaty, frustrated and the job largely unfinished. The grass would constantly snag the blade and most of the effort was spent on keeping these unbalanced tools level.
I would say, without hesitation, that the people who are romanticizing the use of these things over contemporary mechanical means would prefer a chamberpot slopped out a window over a flush toilet. Remember: Progress only cheapens our unnaturally extended lives.
1 Like
Nice. Now letās see Scythe-man do the same right next to the prize-winning petunias.
Ploughshares to swords. I like it.
On one hand (pun intended), Iām happy I wasnāt born in the Middle Agesāgetting struck with a poleaxe or halibard or glaive or whateverthefuck would not only hurt worse than Dubbyaās second election win, itād likely become infected with horrible results. Of course, the modern ages will have our protagonist smelly sweetly the flowers as the Hellfire missile, shortly thereafter, fertilizes those same flowers with our pal.
So, complete and utter ignorance about a death that could happen anywhere at any time, or a horribly painful wound and death shortly thereafter.
At least the Middle Agers didnāt have GG, trolls, or clickbait.
