there are plenty that start there and work backwards to where their notion started.
Pathetic is irrelevant to the woman being put in that position.
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I don’t want to get called ““MRA”” (because eew), but this is horribly sexist - I have seen women do ALL of these, almost every single listed item in each category, to men, and have heard of every single one being done; can we have this as a gender-neutral graphic?
There’s no reason to exclude men, who are subject to emotional and surprisingly-often physical abuse far, far more than society wants to acknowledge.
Edit: also appropriate to make it gender-neutral for same-sex relationships, which do NOT get enough literature or support for domestic violence.
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Gives new resonance to the line, “That guy was straight out of Central Casting.”
Is it though? It seems like a tactic intended to make him seem less dangerous, and her more unreasonable for complying with his “simple requests.”
I’ve known people like that. They’re good at making any one thing they do or say seem not unreasonable on it’s face.
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Field recording of the dick brain talking.
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Sure, feel free to find or make one you like.
Those two were actually kind of hard for me to drum up. I didn’t create either of them, only tracked them down @Mister44’s request. The first isn’t at all gendered, the second is a tool from a women’s shelter.
You’ll notice that my original post was not gendered.
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All I can say is if my safety is in danger I don’t find the person putting it in danger to be pathetic. It’s precisely a tactic, though, your right. And it’s made to make the person being aggressive seem less dangerous, but it doesn’t mean that they are.
I guess I resist the term because it makes it seem a bit like the woman should have just seen him as pathetic and not complied… the whole stupid idea that women have the real power in sexual relationships under a patriarchy.
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The idea is that everyone else sees him as not threatening, while he still is.
I want to say most guys don’t want to have or use that sort of power in their relationships, but at the moment all I’m comfortable claiming is that I don’t.
The woman in question does. Does anyone else in that instance matter?
Yes; if she calls him out he can play act that she’s being unreasonable. (“Don’t embarrass me.”)
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I don’t think you’re getting what I’m saying here.
It’s not just about making her the bad guy. It’s about making sure those around him reinforce that narrative. And this is part of the reason why women get blamed for their own rapes. Over and over and over again.
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That’s exactly the point I was trying to make.
Okay. Well, I guess we agree then?
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