Security robot drowns during patrol


Originally published at:


“What is my purpose?”

“To harass people at the local mall.”

“Oh, God.”

“Yeah, welcome to the club, pal.”


K5 deserves a more human name. Bob would be appropriate.


His last words: I think you ought to know I’m feeling very depressed.



Damn it, we finally get to a point where actual robots can be taken out with stairs, but now dalek/stairs jokes don’t work anymore.

Well, it’d go well with a dalek anyway. Nice salt shaker to go with your pepper pot.

(Obligatory disclaimers: Yes, I know daleks aren’t robots, and yes, I know Daleks could climb stairs as early as “Remembrance of the Daleks,”)


Was he being baptized? Only way you can get to Silicon Heaven, you know. Immediately.


Did they learn nothing from ED209?

Robo Flop


It gets better!

This is the memorial for Steve the drowned security robot outside our office on his charging pad. The future is weird.

— Oliver Griswold (@originalgriz) July 19, 2017


Daleks don’t climb stairs, they level buildings! (Old school)


Witnesses report he was slowly singling “Daisy, Daisy, give me your answer do…”




Where’s the health and safety investigation?

The lack of care about robot safety is disgustingly meatist.

There’s also some classic victim blaming going on - not what I’d expect from the Grauniad.

“The bizarro egg-shaped robot’s premature demise is not thought to be suspicious. It is believed the robot fell down the steps of its own fecklessness.”

Body-shaming and claiming that the deceased died as a result of their own ‘fecklessness’.

Classic corporate reaction to an accident at work.

More seriously, why are there easily accessible stairs into a large pool of water in an office park?

If this was in a private home, I’d say there is a bench around the fountain for people to sit on. Is that what this is for? Are people expected/allowed to wade in to the pool and bask in the refreshing, if dubiously cleaned, water of the fountain?


Watch it… They might ugrade THEMSELVES


The Seventh Doctor begs to differ…


Even a Roomba knows not to go down stairs. Who made this robot?!


That picture at the top of the post is great. It looks like everyone except the LEOs are laughing their asses off.


Up until then it was true.


"It’s worse than that - he’s dead, Jim."