6 Likes
That excuse doesn’t fly when you’re caught lighting your farts.
At least, so I’ve heard.
1 Like
Nah, son:
5 Likes
Way to give me serious performance anxiety. Thanks, BB.
13 Likes
10 Likes
I’d say that if you didn’t, somebodies not doing it right.
3 Likes
Not much luck there:
1 Like
Didn’t what, lose count?
There’s a good reason that I’m so certain that I will fail, should I attempt to ‘keep track’…
9 Likes
I suffer from low thrust count.
Well, suffer may be a bit overblown…
6 Likes
Alternatively…
Seriously though, if I were inclined to try to count it out I would try use a playlist of music with a steady BPM and see how many songs the festivities last.
6 Likes
And of course if your preferred speed isn’t 100bpm, you can always use a plugin:
3 Likes
Gonna have to swap that out with a pallet load of these self-lubricating"condoms once they come out. Just need to create the affiliate link…
(Though they sound more like “moisture activated lubrication” than "self-lubricating… 
)
2 Likes
As long as you keep a running total and replace after 1000 thrusts or one year, whichever comes (ahem) first.
“Honey, have you seen my pedometer?”
5 Likes
“998…999…1000 – STOP!..STOP!..You’ve reached the duty cycle!!!”
(Seems like something a fit bit should keep track of…)
3 Likes
Or a line judge.
7 Likes
“Off side!” 
6 Likes
1000 thrusts
Roger That!
9 Likes
7 Likes
Please, the sheer thought of it makes my lumbago acted up.
4 Likes
