“Welcome to Toxic Masculinity.” sounds like a road sign one should speed past.
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With a name like Blaze_Curry, I’d expect a little more expertise in things shooting out of ones arse too quickly.
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That guys needs to look into the finer delineations between shaving and trimming. Makes all of the difference. Also proper wiping technique.
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Maybe I missed it, but I am surprised that members of BB are not outraged at the implied sexism in the post.
Just as an intellectual exercise, let me give some parallels to the title of the post. I could “prove” all this titles by appropriate reddit posts, of course. Here are the parallel titles:
- septic feminity: when sexphobia prevents woman from using tampons (the article would explain they drip blood everywhere)
- septic religion: when taboos prevent muslim from literally wiping their arses (the article can be reused almost as is)
- septic race: when culture prevents black men from… (insert favorite prejudice here).
As I said: just an intellectual exercise. Also: maybe I am more sensitive to the implied insult, because I know that some other countries see the one I come from as full of people who cannot wash their butts properly and smell accordingly. So I have first-hand experience of being on the receiving end.
Racism and sexism are always the others.
Or, to be more precise, excessive preoccupation about being super-masculine always and all the time, to the point where it gets in the way of ordinary life, is a neurosis.
I once saw a website advocating for some new buttsexless sexual identity called ‘g0y’, but I’m pretty sure it was just one guy working through his personal issues.
I could say a ton on this subject, but suffice it to say that plenty of gay men have major issues relating to butt sex. Especially younger / more isolated homos, who get a lot of their ideas from straight men and outright homophobes. In general, homophobes are way more fixated on anal sex than gay men are. If two well-adjusted gentlemen are boning, it’s not unusual for months to go by without the subject even coming up.
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Pardon the indiscretion, but what do you mean they do then? Oral and manual sex only?
Mocking specific, ridiculous men for being so terrified of seeming effeminate that they refuse to touch their own butts to wipe them or use the “female” (?) part of the toilet seat to poop properly isn’t sexist. It’s mocking specific men for silly, cartoonishly homophobic behavior. It’s not ascribing those behaviors to their sex, just their prejudices.
Just as straight couples have a whole spectrum of possible ways to have fun in the bedroom beyond putting a penis in a vagina missionary-style, so do gay couples. Anal sex, for many gay men, is either an occasional or rare occurrence, honestly. It gets stereotyped as the one and only way gay dudes can have sex, but that’s far from the reality.
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I mean, if you were… prosecuting a case in court?.. then sure, I guess the most common charges would be fellatio, hand jobs, frottage and rimming. But that framing is like describing your favorite song by listing the chords used. “Sex” is any situation where you’re in danger of having an orgasm and it’s someone else’s fault; it’s not particularly relevant how you get there.
There’s a mostly-unspoken line of thinking, particularly in men, that the “purpose” of sex is to stick your dick in a hole and deliver your gametes. That’s a tragically limiting way for anyone to look at it (and, if you’re gay, kind of glaringly ridiculous), but it’s quite widespread. Like when teenagers talk about getting to Nth base – having joyless penetrative sex with someone you hate is somehow “better” than coming in your pants during the world’s most exciting makeout session.
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Your court reference made me think about another court decision, involving a US president and a blue dress. According to the mass media digest of that court decision, oral and manual stimulation are not sex. Therefore, the average public would understand that sex between two persons would imply something beyond oral and manual stimulation. If these two persons are both male, the logical line of thought would imply anal penetration, wouldn’t it?
As to which practice is the most satisfying, that is an entirely different question. I don’t know the answer, I do not know whether the answer is different for heterosexual and homosexual couples and I am not even aware on studies over that particular subject.
Do you assume that “femininity” is too – i.e., there are no difference between the sexes other than the configuration of the genitalia – or is this a sexist slur?
The conversation isn’t about anyone who refuses to wipe their own butt, OR refuses to use the toilet seat because it’s gay/female.
It’s about someone who was ignorant, and embarrassed to discover their ignorance.
That’s part of it, indeed – the guy quoted above who’d always thought that the toilet seat was for women and that guys were supposed to use the porcelain rim.
The linked article also includes lots of messages regarding men who think that getting in between their cheeks to actually wipe their butts properly is effeminate or will make them seem gay.
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Yeah but this message chain was specifically in response to someone feeling that ir sucked for the first guy (who mostly seemed to be operating under a basic misconception that’s actually understandable) to be lumped in with all the “toxic masculinity” who refuse to engage in appropriate behaviour because it threatens their concept of manhood. Especially since his particular mistake was amusing rather than disgusting, and seems to have been remedied when he discovered his misunderstanding.
That’s what I was going to say- the itching and the mother of all diaper rashes.
Okay.
Again, the linked article (and the article title above) is specifically about men too deeply homophobic to feel comfortable wiping their own butts. I quote: “When homophobia prevents men from literally wiping their own asses”. That’s what the responses here are referencing, not the ignorant dude who didn’t understand toilet seats.
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Here in Vancouver, I’m the only one without an umbrella. We get a fair bit of grief from Calgarians about our addiction to umbrellas, especially when we bring them out in the (usually wet) snow.
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Let me rephrase my argument. It goes like this: reddit thrives on racism and sexism. Any discussion originating on reddit should be considered with due distrust, especially when it appears to play on racial or sexual stereotypes.
The stereotype here is “the average cis white man has a phobic fear of being seen as gay”.
A guy who doesn’t want to turn gay, that’s who.
This thread reminds me of a recent commercial for underarm deodorant wherein a female voice-over berates a guy for touching his own arm pit. She says it’s “weird”. Who writes this shit?
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