More precisely, a fourth of a fifth minus 3/8 of a half of a third of a fourth of a fifth.
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I got what you were saying. I was reinterpreting that as you saying that drinking the vodka would make you less of a germaphobe.
I guess if I have to explain the joke it isnât that funny 
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Oh man - you just gave me a great idea; now when I fly with my kid, Iâm going to fill at least one of his refillable baby food pouches with bourbon. Even if I get them confused, the flight is going to be a lot easier for at least one of us.
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I like that idea, too. And you know, âBourbon and Applesauceâ sounds pretty damn good. If you pick the right flavors, you could set yourself up with some really snazzy mixes!
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Sorry, I misinterpreted your joke as beratement. Poeâs Law strikes again 
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Thatâs an irresponsibly large flask. If youâre carrying around half a gallon of ethanol, you should probably keep it either in the original container, or one marked with itâs purpose, just to keep people from assuming youâre planning on poisoning yourself. Good thing itâs being sold as a novelty, although I suppose thereâs legitimate, non-alcohol-abuse related uses for half a gallon of booze. Even if half a gallon seems a bit much in most cases. Iâd carry that in my trunk if my car could run on pure ethanol. As it stands, I keep an extra gallon of super-premium in the trunk just in case my bird-brain forgets that the gas meterâs been at zero for over fifty miles (decent mpg + the light turns on when I have like five gallons left, so itâs not so much of a warning as a suggestion).
After having to use someoneâs keyboard for 20 minutes or so debugging an issue right after watching him eat a filet-o-fish (extra sauce) and using said keyboard to demonstrate the problem, I went out and got a 5-pack of pocket-sized disinfectant wipes to use on everyoneâs keyboards/mice from that point on. Plus, we could order them from our office suppliers, so management wasnât too angry when my whole team requested em.
At the time, I could explain it by joking about Monk, but I guess that reference is getting outdated nowadays.
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Hey, explained jokes are like reheated pizza.
Still pretty good!
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Man Cory has had a lot of booze posts in the last few days⌠unicorn intervention time?
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I do want to go back to my heavy drinking days, but my body doesnât agree with that assessment.
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Youâd probably have to add some kale, yâknow, to make it healthy.
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Maybe, if it gets fermented, and then at least six times distilled with charcoal to get rid of the taste, kale could make a nice vodka!
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Brilliant idea This is perfect for taking to the cricket. 
Fill fruit smoothie pouch with cocktail of choice, freeze down and use to keep packed lunch cold. Enjoy a frosty frozen drink while watching Kohli tonk the Aussies all over the park.
You have just increased the net amount of pleasure in my life. : 
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Or one could make a kale-vodka-power-drink of some sort⌠you know, one of those cleanses that some are always going on about.
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Plain vodka is a good enough cleanser. Russians from nuclear industry and nuclear submarines swear on it as a radiation protection.
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$11 for 14oz of Windex? Where do you shop? Rip-offs-R-Us? Or do you order it from idontunderstandmoney.com? Nine bucks will buy you a 128oz jug of Windex at any Lowes. You want to sanitize? Add a little bleach to some water, and put it in a spray bottle.
Monk is one of those shows Iâm not sure could ever go out of syndication
Honestly, unless it contains substantial amounts of beryllium, is particularly radioactive, or simply doesnât have enough chemical energy to sustain my noble colleagues, is there anything that canât be bludgeoned into being decent vodka?
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If it doesnât smell right, just distill it one more time until itâs pure.
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Pfft, you missed a much better oneâŚ
Twice the fun.
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