Just FTR, I think this is a deliberate provocation, and I would bet a crate of good an completely humor-less German beer that some PR advisor set this up. There is no such thing as bad publicity.
And it worked, didn’t it? We are talking about the guy and his (sh)dick, not about the women he harrassed. If it weren’t for Meureen, I wouldn’t even know the name of any of his victims.
And I had to go back to the article to look up Abby Schachner’s name. I will forget her name again, I would think.
I like you, Lexi. But if I didn’t have the privilege to insulate me from offense, I’d be torn between being offended as a man and being offended as someone who understands error bars.
Let’s try this: “Let’s make something like 1.8 billion Muslims fuck off.” See how using prejudice as a cover for the bad behavior of a subset of a group is wrong?
I was a fan of Louis CK. When the news broke, I sent him some unsolicited advice (below). Obviously, he ignored it. I don’t know if this would have made any difference but it seemed like a good place to start.
If you wronged someone, admit it.
Apologize to those wronged, your family, your fans.
Seek help. Not in a self-aggrandizing way but quiety and earnestly. Healthy men don’t just pull out their dick and masterbate in front of someone without their permission. Something’s wrong.
Get out there and talk about it. We need someone as introspective and intelligent as you to explain. Go talk to anyone who will listen.
Retool. Your career as you knew it is over. Be the guy who people say, “He used to be a comedian, I think. Now I have something more important to talk about.”
Use your celebrity and wealth to right your wrong.
If you look at literature, the stage, and film, whenever there is a redemption theme, it’s always the protagonist earning his or her soul back. So it’s not a passive thing as Maureen points out.
I think if Louis C.K. were really interested in making amends and redeeming himself, he would have been working on this all along. He would be using himself as an example of what happens when you resort to this behavior. He would be educating or at least underwriting educational efforts to bring this to light where it’s not just women saying “me too,” but men saying “I did this, and I was wrong,” and joining the effort to roll back toxic masculinity.
Unfortunately, he looks like he’s taking the standard Hollywood way out and sitting on the sidelines until enough people forget just how horrific his behavior was. And for that I say I hope you never get your career back, because you don’t give two shits about redemption, only that enough people seem to be indifferent to the subject to allow you to start cashing checks again.
An extended family member of mine was recently convicted for sexual abuse and those I saw caring about @Lexicat’s questions seemed to be mostly women. The sisters of the abuser were his main support network and local mothers were voicing serious concerns about the processes around convicted abusers being reintegrated back into their community.
I’m not saying anybody’s wrong here (it may be a case of “most” vs “loudest”) but surely questioning how society might better deal with abusers seems pertinent to the article, is a valid concern of both women and men, and an important part of supporting survivors and protecting those most at risk.
The only way “society” can answer those questions is legislation. Good luck getting a majority of people to agree on that. It’s an inherently personal judgement one has to make.
There is also a difference between reintegrating someone who has served a sentence (and has been changed by that, for better or worse) and reintegrating someone who has fallen from grace.
We can’t even begin to have the discussion until the abusers show some genuine remorse, contrition or as Maureen Herman says, makes living amends. Unfortunately that does not seem to happen in most cases - they merely ride out the storm, make excuses and hope nobody notices or cares anymore when they resurface.
Thanks for your reply and I agree genuine remorse and making amends are the key factors here.
Sure there are differences but it’s the similarities and the criticism of pertinent questions that I was responding to.
In my experience people tend to go through all sorts of (understandable) instinctive and knee-jerk responses when processing the unfortunate reality of co-inhabiting our communities with abusers.
I think it’s important that moving through this process and exploring the questions that arise shouldn’t be conflated with justifying abuse, distracting from the survivors, or being an enabler or apologist.
Once people are examining options around restorative or transformative justice it’s often an indicator of them being wise and kind-hearted.
It felt a little unfair that @Lexicat was criticized, treated with suspicion, and implied to be hijacking a thread for providing thoughtful questions around issues the author raised in her article.
One next step, among many steps, has to be figuring out a way for the men who are caught up in it to find redemption.”
No. That is not a necessary step. It’s certainly possible. But equally possible, is for men who’ve abused their power, to never recover, and to serve as examples to the younger men growing up, demonstrating that some mistakes you just don’t come back from.
Thanks that was a good article taking on something that needs addressing. #Metoo is a movement that currently and understandably acts outside the law and therefore has no due-process. Just accusations and associations. When there is actual evidence then it becomes a judicial matter. For example Woody Allen has not been taken down by the law as there is no evidence but #Metoo has successfully implemented punishment without any due process whether he is guilty or not.
Yet if he had been taken down by the law and even imprisoned for a couple of decades he may have been redeemed publicly and privately.
If the #Metoo movement becomes a law unto itself then it too needs to include redemption if only for its own sake. Forgiveness works for both sides.
But I cant see it being so simple as apologizing. Morgan Spurlock came out as being part of the problem. How was that greeted? The response to him was enough to immediately put off any one else ever doing the same.
Coming out with your past crimes only exacerbates someones public perception whether you deserve it or not.
Without redemption from the #Metoo then very few will ever try this route.
